I bolted out to my car, opening the door for Allison and then running to the other side of the car, getting in. My hands were shaking and I couldn’t bring myself to turn on the ignition. Allison shut the door and looked over at me and frowned. “Scott. Breathe, it’s okay I promise it will be okay just try to calm down.”
As she spoke, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I was finally able to turn it on and I sped off onto the road. My heart was racing and I couldn’t stop thinking that my mother was gone. I can’t lose her! Not the one person who has been there for me from the beginning and who will always be here no matter what. The one who kept me away from my dad who used to hit me and the one who has forgiven me for every bad thing I have ever done to her. I had to try as hard as I possibly could not to cry in front of Allison. I couldn’t have her thinking I was weak.
I looked at the road taking slow breaths, trying to stop the panic attack from happening. I didn’t usually get panic attacks, but when I did, I started to turn and it was very hard to calm myself down. So, I tried with all of my might to stop, but I just couldn’t. The thought of losing my mother was too painful and I could feel myself starting to freak. I gripped onto the steering wheel harder and clenched my teeth together as I stared at the road. Allison was staring at me and I knew that she was aware of what was going on. “Can you just turn this stupid music off?!” I growled at her.
She was startled, but she turned it off as quickly as she could and then grabbed one of my hands in hers. Intertwining our fingers, Allison took a breath and then kisssed the back of my hand gently. “It’s okay Scott. Please calm down.” She kissed my hand again and my heart rate started to go down to a normal pace.
It’s amazing to me how Allison can forgive me for being suck a dick to her sometimes. I don’t know how she can still be so sweet to me. She’s just so perfect.
I stopped my car in the hospital parking lot and began to run inside. Pushing the doors open, I ran into the hospital. “Where is she?!” I yelled at all of the nurses and doctors and they all pointed towards the room she was in. I bolted to the door and a nurnse stepped in front of me before I could go inside.
“I’m sorry but no one can see Melissa right now. She is in very poor condition. There is a piece of metal in her side and if we don’t preform the surgery right now, she will not make it.” The nurse said to me.
My eyes were wide and my face went white like a ghost. I felt like I was going to throw up. “No..” I looked through the window to see her lying completely still and I couldn’t help myself anymore. “But it’s my mother!” I yelled at her, “I need to see her. Let me inside now!!” The tears ran down my cheeks. I could not hold them back anymore. I was bawling now.
The nurse shook her head at me, “Do you want her to die? I’m sorry but you can’t.” She said.
Allison’s hand was in mine and she pulled me back. “Scott. Come with me please.” She was looking in my eyes now, but I couldn’t look at anything except the window, except my mom.
I stood still, my face still blank, tears still flowing out of my eyes and down my cheeks like waterfalls. The words “She will not make it.” Echoing inside my head, haunting me. My mother could die tonight and I wasn’t home to keep her safe. I wasn’t there to be the one to save her. It was all my fault.
“Scott…” Allison whispered to me and I finally snapped out of it. I mean, I was still crying, but I could finally look away from the window and at Allison.
She looked at me and started to wipe some of my tears away. I was in her arms seconds later and I started to cry even harder as I shoved my face into her neck. I couldn’t stop myself. The thought of my mother dying was too painful. Allison’s arm was around my neck, the other running down my back as she tried to comfort me. She also ran her hand down the back of my neck slowly.
“Al- Allison…” I whispered through my crying, “If she dies, I-“
“Shhh….” Allison interupted.
