Allison pulled out of the hug only to walk with me to a near by bench and sit down on it. As soon as we sat down, she pulled me right back into the hug and held me tightly. I buried my face into her neck acgain as I cried. Like I said before, Allison always knew what to do to cheer me up. Obviously I wasn’t happy, but my crying slowed down a little bit. You have no idea how weak I felt. Allison had to be the one to comfort me and that should never happen. No matter what I always needed to be there for her, but I don’t think she minded being the one to take care of me. Either way, she was good at it.
The sound of her steady heart beat and breathing calmed me down slightly. It just felt good to know that at least someone I loved was okay even if one wasn’t. I pulled Allison closer to me as if I was telling her to stay with me forever. If I was going to lose my mother tonight, I would need Allison more than anything and I couldn’t lose her too. “Just don’t leave me okay? I- I can’t lose you too.” I began to cry even harder as I spit the words out.
Allison pulled me as close as she could, kissing the back of my neck gently. “Scott… I’m not going anywhere. I promise you.”
My breathing became uneasy as I tried to keep myself calm. How could I keep calm, my mother could die and I couldn’t do anything about it. No matter how hard I tried to keep everyone safe, someone always ended up getting hurt or dying. Here they were again, the thoughts about how the world would just be so much better without me in it. People wouldn’t be so hurt, people wouldn’t die. “I’ll be right back.” I mumbled as I pulled myself away from her, walking to the nearest bathroom.
Thankfully it was a one-person type of bathroom so I could lock the door. I walked up to the sink, gripping both sides and looking at my reflection in the mirrror. I hated what I saw. I hated myself, I hated how I hurt every single person I came in contact with. I took a deep breath and clenched my fist together, punching the mirror as hard as I could, shattering it into pieces. I was only getting started. The anger towards myself that was built up inside was uncontrolable. My body turned and I began repeatively punching the wall with all of my force just hoping that I would hurt myself so much that I could just stop healing. Maybe then I could just bleed out to death. Slowly and painfully, that’s the way I deserved to go out. After what I have done to all of these people, I deserved to go out that way.
A yell came out of my mouth as I punched the wall with both hands faster and harder. My fists were covered in blood , yet I knew that it wasn’t working. I gripped my hair tightly, yelling one more time. As I looked around the room, I decided that I could just use the glass from the mirror. So, I picked up the biggest piece I could find and shoved it through my chest. Blood squirted out of my mouth and I started losing my balance. My back hit the wall and I slid to the floor slowing as I continued to shove the glass into my chest, deapening the wound. I hoped that if it was deep enough it wouldn’t heal. The wound began to heal and I went to my last resort. My claws came out and I dug them into my chest pulling the wound open even farther. The deeper I dug my claws, the louder I cried out.
“Scott!!!” Allison yelled out to me. Her voice just made me want to get this over with faster.
The cut was right on my side where I had been bitten my Peter. I tried as hard as I could to stop myself from healing. “Come on!!!” I yelled out, still crying in out in pain.
Allison began to knock on the door loudly, “Scott! Answer me! Open the door. Please Scott?!” She yelled out to me.
The tears started streaming down my face as I thought about all the wrong I had done to everyone. I wished I could be the perfect man for Allison, the better friend to Stiles, the better son to my mom… I just couldn’t be. I can’t be all of those things, as hard as I tried. Everything always got ruined in the end and if I was just gone, nothing bad would ever happen to them again. I killed Allison’s mother, and now I could’ve possibly killed my own mother. See the pattern there? Without me everyone is always happy, without me no one gets hurt.
I leaned my head up looking at the ceiling. Allison was still yelling my name and banging on the door, but I wasn’t going to answer. No, I wasn’t going to be here anymore when Allison found me. When Allison found me, I would be who I deserve to be, no one. Once they all get over me, then their lives would be happy, safe and peaceful. That’s all that I wanted. I wanted everyone I loved to be happy and to live good lives. Allison, Stiles, Lydia, sheriff Stilinski, Isaac, Boyd, Derek, even Jackson. I wanted them all to be happy, happy without me. I knew that they would be.
My eyes closed and I started thinking about all of the moments I had spent with them. Stiles since even before I was bitten, when we were nothing. I thought about how we would sit around and be weirdos all day. I thought about how obessed he had been with Lydia since the 3rd grade. Then, thoughts of when we thought Lydia was the Kanima, when we saved her. Then, when she saved Jackson and he became a wolf, and how much of a douche he was to me. I thought about the sheriff always busting Stiles and I. Then I thought of their pain. Every single one of them had lost someone or been in pain because I had broughten them into my world. I had ruined their lives. Lastly, I thought about Allison. Every kiss we shared came into my mind, everytime she giggled or grinned at me. Her perfect smile but also the face she made when she was hurting and how much I caused her to cry. Even now, I could hear her yelling and crying, banging on the door.
A deep breath came out of my mouth and I pulled the glass out of my chest and then I shoved it back into the cut, one. last. time. Suddenly, the door busted open and everything went black.
