No, I wouldn't let it end that way. I couldn't just let her leave like this. Not without me knowing if she was okay or not. I had laid my hands on her. The thought made me sick. How could ever touch a girl like that? Especially the love of my life!
I ran out of the hospital and out to the parking lot to find Allison sitting on one of the benches crying. Her face was in her hands and she was bawling. It was all my fault. Not only had I caused her physical pain but emotional pain as well and I hated myself for it.
"Allison. Please, let me talk to you." I say down next to her and she stayed where she was and continued to sit in silence. "I'm so sorry but it's my mother. You understand don't you? I was angry and I just have so many things built up inside me -"
Allison stood up and looked me straight in the eye. "If you have problems then you need to figure then out. I can't be part of all of this Scott! Yes I understand what you're going through but could you just take a second to think about my situation? My mother’s dead Scott! She's dead because of me! You think that I don't live my life every single day without blaming myself for it? Or thinking about it? I do. But that doesn't mean that I'm going to go off and kill myself. I'm not going to do that to the people I love! How could I do that to my father after all we've lost or to you. You know how you'd feel if I'm gone Scott. Did you ever once think about how I would feel if you were ever gone from my life? How I could survive without you!" She busted out into tears and turned around.
I quickly stood up and walked behind her, hugging her from behind. "I'm so sorry Allison." I could tell how much pain she was in. She was holding so much back and it was killing me. She was right. All of it was true. I was being selfish and it wasn't just me who needed someone to be there for them at all times. No, Allison needed someone more than I did and I couldn't even see it until now.
"I love you so much." I whispered and then I planted a kiss on the back of her neck gently and then rested my chin on her shoulder. "Let me see it."
She wouldn't show me, so I grabbed her arm lightly looking at the scratches I had caused. "Oh my god..." They were so deep. "How bad does it hurt?"
"Scott. I'm fine." She whispered.
"No." I shook my head and then let go of Allison. I grabbed her other hand in mine and walked with her into the hospital. I knew that she wasn’t fine; I could see the blood rushing out of her arm. Every time I looked at it, I felt sick. The fact that I had actually hurt Allison scared me. What would I do to her if I was extremely angry? Maybe it was safer for her if we were apart.
I led Allison into one of the empty rooms and shut the door behind us. “Sit down.” I said calmly as I looked through the drawers. I pulled out a cloth and dipped it under the sink. Once it was wet enough, I walked up to Allison and grabbed her arm. I shook my head looking at the cuts and then began to wipe off the blood gently. “Tell me if I hurt you okay?” I said sweetly. Once the blood was all gone, I walked back to the counter, putting the cloth in the sink and then grabbing a few band aids and some surgical tape.
I put the band aids over the cuts and then wrapped the tape around her arm. “This should be good for now.” I said and then looked up to see Allison grinning at me with her dimples showing. “What?” I asked her.
“Doctor McCall.” She giggled and stood up hugging me tightly. I was surprised and at the same time resistant. I was scared to go near her now. What if I ever hurt her again?
I pulled myself out of the hug shaking my head, “Allison… No. I don’t want to ever hurt you again.”
“You’re kidding right?” She sighed, “Scott it’s okay.” After she spoke she leaned in to kiss me but I moved back.
“No.” I shook my head at her seriously, “It’s not okay. I can’t get too close to you.”
Allison sighed, looked around and then looked back at me as if she had just gotten an idea. Her hands were now under my shirt and her fingers were tracing patterns on my stomach. I tried to move back, but she moved forward. “Allison, this isn’t a game.” I mumbled.
She just grinned at me and pulled me as close to her as possible. She slowly grazed her lips against my neck, teasingly. I wasn’t going to give in. I couldn’t hurt her again. Allison pushed her lips onto my neck and started kissing it. She knew it was my weak spot. What she was doing was evil and she knew it too. Her tongue touched my neck gently and I moaned lightly shaking my head. “You’re so evil.” I mumbled to her as she looked up at me grinning.
Allison had done it. She had broken me and it was so easy for her. Like I said before, she was evil, but I loved it. ‘Screw it.’ I said to myself pulling her lips to mine softly.
