Frozen (Harry Styles)

Chapter 20

MAKE SURE YOU LOOK AT THE PICTURE IN THE MULTIMEDIA BEFORE READING THIS CHAPTER!
Or you're gonna be confused.

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October 1, 2013 - Los Angeles

Harry's P.O.V.

My whole vision has started getting more and more blurred as I let the thoughts sink in. I noticed the unsteady and uncontrollable shaking of my right leg caused from all the anxiety I was going through. The only comfort I seemed to have at that moment was Ashley's hand, so I tightened my grip on her, without taking away my stare from the weird and plain picture on the desk in front if me.

"You're so nervous." Ashley's voice made me breathe in deeply, closing my eyes.

Maybe I was supposed to say something else, but everything my mind could think of was to give a nod.  "Ash." I sighed right afterwards, leaning back on the chair I was sitting in. Her hand squeezed mine, assuring and encouraging me to continue. "I won't let you alone."

"I know that." she smiled again, causing relief to wash through me as I realized that after all this time and everything that happened, she still believes in me. "I'm sorry." she said quietly and looked up at me. I didn't really catch up for what she's apologizing, so I couldn't help and not pull a bit of a confused expression on my face. Ashley noticed my slow moment and sighed. "I should've be more reasonable."

Looking down, I felt regret starting to take over my feelings again. I didn't know whether I was getting the guilt in me because of self-disapointement from not being able to hold myself up after I get drunk, or was it because of fear from the chance of my whole life crushing down if there are consequences. Long-term consequences, in this case.

"You were drunk. I was drunk. It's not just your fault."

"I didn't mean to freak you out." she continued quietly. "But I just couldn't get myself to hear the news alone."

"It's okay." I shrugged. "Just next time don't do it over a text in the middle of the night." I smiled lightly, even though I knew she could recognize my forced smile in any situation. I grew impatient, wanting to know the results as sooner as possible, so I turned and started looking around the office with hope that it will make the doctor come back sooner. Ashley slowly took her hand away from mine, and as much as would sound disrespectful of me, it felt better.

It felt better without Ashley.

The realization made me want to kick myself for being so irresponsible and hooking up with her every damn time when we see each other. Yes, I might have had some kind of interest for Ashley when we first started dating and all that stuff, but I never felt it. Maybe except in bed.

Concentrate, Harry for God's sake. There's a big chance to get stuck with her, just because of those exact thoughts.

"I know that you're seeing someone else." I heard her as I leaned back again on my chair, frustratedly running my hand through my hair. I turned to her, not understanding why would that even matter to her. "Amy McCole, right?" she continued. "She's a nice girl, I've met her."

Alright, no. I don't need this.

"Ashley, I..." closing my mouth, I gulped and lifted my eyebrows when I couldn't think of anything to say. "Why would you even care about her?" I snapped, unwillingly harsh.

"You can tell me. We promised to stay friends, didn't we?" she smiled back to me, making me feel a bit sick. I've never been fond to this side of her. The pure, angelic side that was playing like some kind of a therapist with me in every situation. I've never wanted to be treated like a kid who will spill their guts just because of a trustworthy expression and smile.