Mirage (A Chris Brown Story)

Chapter Fourteen.

I am surprised to find Chris awake when I blindly burst into his room. This is the point in time when most girls would get scared and embarrassed but I didn't care, this could count as a test. Chris repeatedly said her was here for me so this would see if he was for real. If he wasn't then I'm not sure where whatever this thing that we had going on was going to go. If I had to end it today then I would because I don't want to get too attached to something that isn't real.

"Ari, what's wrong?" he ask hopping up from his bed and appearing at my side.

"I just- I had a bad dream and I- I need someone to talk to," at this point his warm arms wrap around me as he pulls me to his bed, "I'm not sure if you will listen or even care b-but-"

I am cut off by him gently shushing me, "It doesn't matter what I feel right now, if you need to talk then talk."

I open my mouth to object but he stops me again, "Talk."

And that's what I do, I talk. I tell him about the fucked up mess that is my life. I told him about how my mama and daddy met when they was young probably younger than us and how they fell head over heals for each other. I told him about how my mama found out that she was pregnant with me a few months after they met and how their families didn't approve because my mother was black and my daddy was Filipino. I told him how life fucked over my daddy so that by the time that I was born Ricky Martinez was deep in the game and was no longer the sweet caring guy that he was before. I told him how I grew to hate when my daddy was home because all he did was pick pointless fights with my mama, because the kitchen wasn't clean and dinner wasn't made 'I do what I do to provide for your ungrateful ass and you can't even cater for your man' is what he constantly said. But he never understood that my mama was busy taking care of me and steady trying to go back to school to become a doctor. He didn't understand because he never asked. Since he never asked my mother spent countless hours telling me how her dream was to travel the world and help sick children. Deep down inside my daddy loved us but he just didn't know how to show it. I told Chris how as time passed we saw less and less of my father and how when we did see him he was like a time bomb. He threw things and screamed and beat up on my mama, and there was nothing we could do about it. The streets had changed him. He was different. That point was made clear when he came home early one day he came in the house drunk off of his ass screaming and yelling more than usual and he sent my mother to the store and I went to the swing set outside.

"I knew that that day was going to be different than the rest just by the empty look in my father's eyes. He grabbed me up from the swings and carried me into my room and locked the door behind him. I was twelve years old, twelve!" I am screaming and sobbing, " I'm just thinking, what type of man can do that to his daughter? What type of man can rape his daughter?"

I don't feel any emotions right now, it is like I am numb. The only thing I feel are two strong arms wrap around my body and pull me into a hard chest. The way he is holding me is almost as if he is trying to hold me together, trying to keep me from falling apart. But what he doesn't realize is that I am already falling apart, I am already broken. He only knows half of the story, he doesn't even know how it all fell apart. But none of the less I let him comfort me, and that night I fell asleep in his arms. Although it was selfish of me I let him believe that he could some how fix me, even though I didn't even believe it myself.

***

I woke up the next morning feeling surprisingly cold and it takes me a minute to realize that I am lying in the bed alone. The first thought that popped into my mind was that Chris left because my past disgusted him. He couldn't stand to be around someone who had been fucked by their father, he didn't want to be around a bitch with spoiled goods. I mean who would? Hell I was surprised that he even lasted this long, I give the dude mad props. I guess I would have to pick up what little shit Baby Girl and I had and leave.

I am brought out of my deep thoughts when a large warm hand softly caresses my cheek. I look up to find Chris looking at me, worry and concern shining through his dark brown eyes.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" he asks, and I expect for him to look frustrated but instead I find nothing but curiosity on his face.

I run a hand underneath my left eye and sure enough my hand turns up damp. I pull myself away from his touch.

"Listen, you don't need to act like you care. We both know that you don't, your life is perfect and you just think of me as a damn charity case, and I'm not about that shit," I snap at him, narrowing my eyes.

I feel some type of twisted delight in the pit of my stomach when I see his face turn slightly red and anger take over his usual patient care-free face.

"I don't know what the hell I have to do to prove to you that I do care! I'm fucking busting my ass over here trying to gain your damn trust! I care for you but I'm not going to sit here and allow you to talk to me like shit!" Its then that I notice how his hands, that had just a few minutes ago caused a weird spark to run through my body, were now clenched into fists at his side, "I'm sorry but I can't deal with this shit right now!"

And with that he stands to his full height and marches out of the room, roughing slamming the door behind him.

********

And that my lovelies is chapter fourteen! :) Yes I do realize that it took me forever to update, but in my defense it took y'all 46733 years to give me ten comments!

Anyways this chapter is kind of 'bam in your face' and I still haven't decided if I like it yet. Things in the story will be changing a lot in the next few chapters and you guys will start to see a more clear plot line develop and what not.

Okay another thing I want to talk about, I appreciate your comments and stuff but at this point I could use some real feedback. I just ask that y'all can start telling me what you do and do not like about the chapter as opposed to just telling be to update. (Did that come off bitch like? My bad.)

With all of that being said I need ten comments and ten votes to update! :)