i hate swimming.
actually, i don't.
i hate how there's no one i like there.
actually,
it's not that i don't like them;
it's that i'm not included in their little bubble.
i don't really have a problem with that.
actually, i do.
i think i'm not used to being lonely anymore, which is odd cuz i've been lonely for a while. i'm just sick of being lonely.
and i'm so slow. i'm the oldest in the group yet i'm nowhere near the times of the nine-/ten-year olds.
earlier we were in the locker rooms and this one girl was taking a longer time than the others cuz she had a kneeskin and they all just left and i dawdled a little debating if i should stay to make her feel not lonely but i just left because i'm not even that great friends with her and she annoys me sometimes. but then she was crying and the other girls were like wtf why is she crying and this one girl was like "oh is it because we made her feel left out" and this other girl, literally immediately, said "OH OF COURSE NOT" and . . . idk. i ate some chex mix earlier and now my tummy hurts.
