Overprotected

Chapter Twenty-Five

I'm sitting on a park bench at three in the afternoon, waiting.

It's one of those little walking parks, no playground. It has a little lake and dock, where you can feed geese. Lots of people walk their dogs here, but it's mostly empty today.

It's also on the other side of town, no triggers.

It's been three days since Carson's funeral, and I haven't cried since. I still feel mostly empty, and locked in disbelief.

I'm waiting for Bryce and Nate. We had also invited Blair, but she had passed, saying that Carson's 'original squad' needed some time to recuperate together.

Bryce had thought that getting together would help me heal faster. But I know that I'm not the only one who needs healing.

I see him walking toward me, and make a move to stand. "No don't stand. You're fine," Bryce says, sitting on the bench next to me.

I cross my arms and my legs, staring straight ahead. I've pretty much avoided eye contact lately.

"Where's Nate?" I finally say quietly.

"I told him a different time. He'll be here in about twenty minutes."

I glance up. "Why did you do that?"

He runs a hand through his hair. "Admit it. Ever since he and Blair started dating, he's been not as close with the rest of us."

"I guess that's how it should be, closest with your girlfriend. It's how-" I stop.

Bryce leans toward me. "It's Carson and you were."

I nod slowly. Bryce gives a slight smile. "You guys had the perfect relationship."

I sit up straight and sigh. "We had our rough patches, but overall it was pretty good. Can we not talk about that please?"

Bryce nods. "Okay."

We sit in silence for a while, and then I can't help it. I hiccup, triggering a sob, and dig my fists into my eyes, willing the tears not to come.

"Hey Lexi, it's okay to cry." Bryce puts an arm around me and I lean into him, my fists still at my eyes. "It's okay to cry."

We're still like this when I hear Nate's voice. "What's wrong with Lexi?"

I remove my fists from my eyes, sit up, and glare at him. "Let's kill Blair and see how you handle it."

Nate sits next to me, a grim look on his face. "I'm pretty sure Bryce called us together to chat with a civil conversation Lexi."

I just roll my eyes and lay my head on Bryce again. By the way his chest is moving, I can tell that they're having a silent conversation above my head. I rotate just enough to see Nate mouth 'knocked up,' before he stops and just looks at me.

"Go on, talk about me being knocked up," I say. "I don't care. If you said it in a normal tone of voice I wouldn't even care, so say it loud."

I lay my head on Bryce again. They don't talk out loud, but I can tell they've resumed their silent conversation because I feel the movements again.

After a moment, I reach over and tap the left side of Bryce's chest. "Right here," I whisper. "That's where my head would go when we hug. I could hear his heartbeat, right here."

I remove my hand and fall silent.

"Anything else you remember about him Lexi?" Bryce asks.