Overprotected

Chapter Twenty-Eight

       Time did as she always does, whether you're going through heartbreak or happiness. She moved on. She waited not for permission, but rather forced me into moving forward, no matter how hard I dug my heels in.

      Days passed. Landon messaged me and asked if I wanted to have Lucky, but I declined. Too many sore memories.

     Weeks passed. Blair and Nate left for college in Illinois, like they had always planned on doing.

     Bryce went to the community college, for business associates.

   Me? I skipped college entirely. I hadn't ever wanted to go. I got a job as a librarians assistant and settled down to the mindless task of separating and sorting books, day after day.

    Months passed. Christmas came and went. Carson's memories were sharp and harsh in the twinkling lights. Blair came home from college and we got together over break, but she was too hung up with homework to spend a lot of time with me.

     Bryce and I grew very close in this time, since Blair and Nate really weren't around. He sort of became another Carson, but the Bryce version.

     A year passed. Blair came home for the summer in tears. She had caught Nate in the act of cheating on her with another girl in Illinois, and immediately broke off their relationship. I was shocked that Nate would do that, and so upset for Blair. They had dated for a year and a half. Nate got the cold shoulder from us, and eventually went back to Illinois to spend a few weeks with his new girlfriend.

       On the anniversary of Carson's passing, I did what I hadn't been willing to do. I let him go. I kept a couple pictures of him, but I burned the shirt and the journal. If I'm ever going to love again, it can't be a threesome. I can't be holding on to someone not even on this earth anymore. One year was enough mourning for me.

      Two years passed. Blair came home with a fiancé, and giddily asked me to be her maid of honor. I accepted, and two months later, at the age of twenty-one, Blair was a married woman. She cut off her college years from four to two.

     It was the month of my twenty-first birthday, when I finally came to terms with my feelings for Bryce. They were more than just friendship.

And so I watched. I watched for those little telltale signs that he reciprocated those feelings.

I couldn't find any signs of his feelings.

And I schooled mine. I kept them inside, trying my absolute hardest to make sure I didn't give myself away and feel embarrassed.

I guess I schooled them too well, because six months later, Bryce sat me down with this look on his face, this look of anxiety and excitement.

"Lexi," he says excitedly. "I found a girl. A girl I like, a lot, and I think she likes me back."

"Oh?" I say, feeling my heart drop to the pit of my stomach, the first cracks breaking through. "That's awesome, Bryce." I try to smile.

"The thing is," Bryce says slowly, "I don't know if she will have me."

"But you said she liked you back."

"I know," He says with a sigh. "But she lost her last boyfriend to a drunk driver, and I don't think anyone will be able to live up to the standards he set for her."