Finding Sophia (The Walking Dead Fanfiction)

Fourteen: Can't Sleep?

I followed them through the prison, only half listening as they explained where we'd be sleeping and where to shower and things like that. They mentioned since Sophia was a part of the group, she'd sleep in C Block...but since I wasn't, I'd be in D Block.

I signed and threw my bag over my shoulder, following Ryan into the Cell Block. He motioned for me to enter one of the last cells, a dark, extremely confined space. I run a hand through my hair and sigh again.

"It's not much, I know, but..."

"No." I interrupt, "Thank you." He didn't do anything. No one here did anything to hurt me. But still, everything hurt.

I didn't want to stay. I'd probably only stay for the night, just to make sure these people were legit to leave Sophia with. These people...I knew no one and I knew that probably could change, but I wasn't built for this world anymore. I was made for out there, not in here, in a cage.

I sling my bag on the bed and look around the cell. Ryan mumbles something before taking off like a bullet. I cross my arms and look around the tiny room. It was a bed and a floor, and that was all I really needed. Biting my lip, I dug through my bag and pulled out my sketchpad. I hadn't touched the thing in years, but I wanted to draw again. Hell, if this place was as safe as they claimed, I could draw anything.

Opening it to the next blank page, I just stared at it for a few moments. The indentations of the page before were still visible...I turned the page over and see that damn picture of Caesar. I'd drawn it only a week before I left Woodbury...

I shut the book and threw it at the wall in one motion. Tears were falling down my face before I knew it. I don't remember the last time I cried...when I lost Sophia? I didn't care anymore. I was losing everything I had, the only thing I had left. I'd thrown away Caesar and I was...it was over. It was all my fault.

I sit on the bed, my head in my hands as I let a son escape my throat. I lean back against the wall and cry, digging my nails in the sides of my arms. I didn't know anything anymore...I couldn't think and everything was crashing down around me.

I stay like that for God only knows how long, but when I finally get up, it's dark out. I grab my gear and step out of the cell block, and walk out of the prison. I look around the yard. It was almost peaceful out here, minus the geeks. Everything would be peaceful minus the geeks. I sit down in the middle of the grass, between the farm plot and the dining pavilion. I'm still crying, and I would've figured I'd be out of tears by now. But of course, I'm not.

I hate crying. It's a sign of weakness, and weakness is not allowed in this world.

"Can't sleep?" I hear a familiar voice behind me. I turn around, wiping my cheeks off.

"You could say that." I tell him.

Daryl sits beside me without another word, and I look over at him like he's stupid, though I know he can't see my face. I was sitting out here trying to be dramatic and this sumbitch is just gonna come ruin it. He doesn't say anything, just looks at his crossbow, and then to the tree line, past the geeks. I watch him carefully, definitely not trusting him.

"When we were out there," I start talking before I know what I'm doing, "Sophia told me about her group, that they were all good people...I didn't expect you to take us in so quickly...or at all."

He says, "You two seem to handle yourselves. Ye just found 'er in the woods?"

I look over at him and nod, "She held off two geeks until I found her...we'd been through hell and back...then we found y'all." I sigh, "And I don't know how I feel about it." I sigh, "I'm pretty good at reading people, Daryl...but she was a fucking mystery. She still is...she's the only person I have left. And I promised that we'd find you guys...so it's no one's fault but my own."

I realize I was talking more to myself than to Daryl, but he listens like a therapist.

"And now you've seen me at my weakest and I don't even know your last name." I say, wiping my cheeks off. I'm pretty sure I see him crack a smile.

"It's Dixon." He says, "You still plannin' on leavin' sunshine?"

I look back at the tree line before laying on the grass and covering my eyes. "I don't know. I don't know anymore." When I look back over at him expecting a response, he's gone. But I lied to him. I knew what I was going to do.

I had to go.