Finding Sophia (The Walking Dead Fanfiction)

Thirty-Three: Notebooks and Chili

"What happened in there?" I asked Daryl as Carol leads us to her place. I didn't want to think about Sophia. I couldn't. She could be back at the prison, or a walker, or out there alone...I couldn't think about that. "In Terminus?"

"They weren't what we thought they were." He explains vaguely.

"Which means?" I press on.

He hesitates before saying, "They ate people." I wasn't really expecting that one.

"Oh." Is all I could muster. They ate people? That's just...that's just sick. Don't we already have the dead doing that for us? "Did uh...did they make you?"

He shakes his head, glancing down at my leg every so often. "Need help?" He offers.

"I got it." I assure, limping like there was no tomorrow, though it was getting better. Then it sinks in. Sophia isn't coming back. Carol doesn't have her, Daryl didn't, Rick didn't, and Glenn didn't. Those groups were the only ones we're gonna find. Sophia's gone for good this time.

Despite any urge to cry, I keep moving. "You ok?" Daryl asks.

I wipe my nose with my sleeve, "Fine...just cold." The air was beginning to get a nip in it ever since the autumn months were setting in.

"We're here." Carol suddenly says as we come upon a tiny little shack in the woods. We settle in. Tyreese and Sasha reunite, and Rick and Judy. I smile, sitting on the front porch, tapping on the cover of my sketchbook. I needed to figure out if anyone had this with them, or if these people were inside the prison. That could wait, though. There were more important things going on. We agreed to stay here for the next hour or so to gather our bearings and then get a move on in case anyone from Terminus made it out.

I can barely remember the way she laughed, the way she smiled, or how joked about things that happened. I'm only able to remember the bad things about her, like how she would make his stupid face whenever we out the guts on. I didn't blame her for it, and I still don't. The shit stank, but it makes it all the harder to remember she was the best person I'd ever been around.

"Hey." Carol said from behind. She sat next to me without invitation, but I didn't mind. "Your leg ok?" She asks.

"Been worse." I say, and then chuckle, "One time, Sophia and I were out there, and I sprained my ankle. Just fell in a hole and bent it the wrong way. She started to freak out, didn't know what to do. She was only twelve but...she handled it. We made it back to our camp and she bandaged it up." I chuckle again before looking at my hands, "Thinking about her makes it all the harder to realize she's gone."

She pauses a second before saying, "I had the chance to thank you so many time for helping her, but I never really did. Now that we have a minute, I want to thank you. You were there when I couldn't be."

"I didn't do anything."

She looks at the tree line and asks, "How did you two meet?"

I cross my arms over my chest, letting a breath out I didn't realize I was holding, and say, "She was holding off a walker. I was hunting. Killed the damn thing and I realized she had a scratch all down her arm. Cut it on a tree, she said. I brought her to a house I cleared and stitched it up. That little girl didn't let a tear fall down her face." I rub my forehead, "And then we ate chili." We both chuckle, "She told me about her group, about herself. She told me her middle name was Rose, and right then, I felt like it was meant to be." She cocks and eyebrow at me and I sigh, knowing I needed to explain it to her.

"Before, I was with this guy, Caesar. We were together for six years, lived together for four. We tried to have a baby so many times, no matter how many times I convinced myself I didn't want to. I finally got pregnant, even though the doctors all said I couldn't. And the baby...six months in I miscarried. We were gonna have a little girl, and we were gonna name her Rosa Maria.

"Sophia was the only person I had. The only one I cared about." I sigh, shutting my eyes, "I love her. I love this group...I love..." I was about to say Daryl, but decided against it. I don't know. "It's my fault." I choke out, "I told Carl and Sophia to go inside. Carl went to look for Judy, leaving her alone. Inside. He blames himself, but it was me. They should've been safe in there...they should've..."

"There was nothing anyone could do." She says, tears falling down her cheeks. We're both crying now. "Thank you, Andie, so much." She hugs me, and I don't stiffen under her touch. I don't resist or just sit there awkwardly. I let her hug me and though she's showing me her soft side, I know she's tough as nails. We all need some time to cry.

"Thank you, Carol." I said into her shoulder. "We're gonna make it. To the very end." I promise. But the more I tell myself that, the less I believe it. "The book." I change the subject a moment later, "Where did you find the book?"

"It was with their things, the ones they stripped off us. I took as much as I could carry of ours."

"Who had this?" I mutter to myself, flipping through the pages. Not gone, not gone, not gone. "How did it get there?"

"Ask around the group. Maybe you have a secret admirer." She winks at me and I roll my eyes.

But I immediately think of Daryl.