Pretending to be Married (destiel)

Chapter 19

Dean, unsurprisingly found himself at the bar.

A guy named Ash was serving, although it looked like the one getting the most drinks was himself.

"You alright buddy?" Ash questioned as he handed Dean his beer. "Aces." Dean muttered into his beer before looking up at Ash. "Nice hair do." At this Ash grinned, "Thanks man, Business in the front, party in the back."

There was a silence that wasn't quite comfortable and was anticipating more. Ash didn't leave the position he was in, he had worked in this bar long enough to know when someone needs to talk.

"Is it a good idea to have a bar in a place like this?" Ash smiled, this is usually how it starts, "Some people need a bit of liquid courage to help them out. Facing your problems takes a hell of a lot of work, sometimes you need help to shake off the fear." Dean just nodded but Ash knew the look on his face. "You know you can think aloud right?"

After a few minutes Ash went off to serve a couple of others before returning to Dean's side, an expectant look on his face. "Come on buddy, better out than in I always say." After a couple of moments Dean's shoulders dropped from the defensive position he'd had them in and look up at Ash. "I've really fucked up."

When Ash didn't say anything Dean continued, "Me and my-my Cas, we are going through a very weird patch, it's as if everything that we've been through hasn't really happened, all we do is bicker and I feel so lost when he's not here." Dean took another sip of his drink, "I don't like talking about emotions and shit, it is very not me. So-so I write them down and then burn the letters. That way I get everything out and no one ever needs to know."

After another gulp of beer he carried on, "I wrote one for Cas, to Cas and before I could burn it I ran upstairs to be sick, and he came in and when I came back down" he stopped to huff a laugh, "When I came back down, he jumped out if the window."

Ash nodded, "Damn. You really have it bad for him." Dean didn't look up. "You seem the kind of guy to just ignore your feelings and pray that what happened won't be dragged up, but that is not the way this place works. You will have to talk about this, there are no two ways about it. All I can tell you is get your head sorted out before you start talking, know what you intend to say before you say it otherwise you may screw up and lose him. Good luck man."

Dean didn't move for a moment and when he did he stufly got up from the chair and have a half smile to Ash, "Thanks man but I gotta go, meeting."

As he walked out he didn't know how he felt. He knew that he'd have to talk to Cas but the thought petrified him. How do you tell an angel you love them?

He found Cas sat on their porch reading. He slowed as he arrived at the house, not wanting to interrupt the scene in front of him.

Before he had the chance Cas looked up and gave Dean a small, almost shy, smile. "You ready?" Dean asked, unsure of what else to say. Castiel nodded and stood up, "I was worried you had forgot."

The conversation had a formal feeling that Dean couldn't shake. It was nice and polite but it made him uncomfortable. They had known each other for a hell of a long time and now they felt like strangers pretending.

This was going to be a fun meeting.

Cas excused himself into the house to go and put away his book, leaving Dean outside. He turned to look out at the complex, they had been there less than a week but it already felt like forever. He was comfortable here, happy but it felt delicate and he knew it wouldn't last.

He thoughts were interrupted by a hand sliding over his: Cas. He looked over at the angel and smiled a little before they began to walk.

The silence between them wasn't uncomfortable but it was expectant. Dean knew Cas wouldn't break it so he was the one to speak up, "You know I was thinking, we really need to move this case along before anyone else gets hurt. We've been here a week and we're got nothing done." Cas nodded in agreement.

"We should find Sam afterwards and talk to him about what he may have found. People are at risk and we seem to have been procrastinating on hunting."

The rest of the walk was in silence and all too soon they were at the centre. They stood outside both trying to subtly psych themselves up for what they would have to face inside.

Dean gently squeezed Castiel's hand before knocking on the door, "Good luck buddy."

I seem to post every 10 days in an accidental organised way. You watch now I've pointed t out I'll lose it. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this x