Let Her Go (Already Broken Sequel) {J.B.}

Chapter 1

^Picture of Kayla^

~Kayla's POV~

February 16th, 2014

Today has been... okay. Well, maybe a little less than okay. I woke up late this morning and was 20 minutes late for my 9am Geology class, which, probably wasn't such a great idea to sign up for such an early class in the first place, but it gives me plenty of time to get enough hours of work in throughout the day so I can make my payments to my landlord more frequent.

It's been rough staying on top of paying all my bills and making sure they're all on time, but I guess it could be worse. I'm still thanking God everyday for my partial scholarship. If it weren't for that, I'd be fucked over.

My counselor appointments are going good. Dr. Randall even lowered the price for me since she knows how much I struggle with money, and she doesn't think I should give up my meetings with her since she claims it'll be a bigger price to pay in the long run if I don't keep on top of my emotional health. As much as I hate to admit it, I do look forward to meeting with her so I can vent.

She knows everything. And I love having someone who knows me front to back and doesn't judge me one bit. She's helped me more than I like to admit. My whole problem last year with he-who-shall-not-be-named destroyed me. And I'm still broken, it hurts like hell every day. Today its been a year and two months since I last saw and talked to him, though Dr. Randall rants on and on about how I shouldn't feel the need to remember how long its been.

I paused with the movement of my pencil, tapping it lightly against the open page in my journal. My gaze was concentrated on the blank wall in front of me, a blank canvas perfect for portraying my thoughts onto. I tried not to picture his face, hell, it took everything in me not to say his name aloud.

I felt the forming of a tear and wiped it away before it had the chance to fall. I bit down hard on my back teeth and quivered my nose, fully concentrated on moving past the moment of being caught up in him.

I continued,

College has been good, and Pattie makes sure to check up on me every couple of days to a week which I sometimes find myself waiting for. I love that she cares; thats all I've ever wanted.

"Kayla!" My name escaped my roommate, Ashley's, mouth. I cocked my head toward my wide open door to see her march her way over to me, stopping her small body in the doorway. "You wanna grab some drinks with me and David? We were gonna head over to Mel's," she asked, referring to our local bar. I took a look behind her to see David making his presence known as he strolled through the front door of our dorm. It's nearly 8 o'clock, and after 8 theres no boys allowed in the girls dorms, so Ashley's got her bar visits down to a slight routine.

"Yeah," I breathed out, "I'll come."

She must have noticed a change in my mood right off the bat, because on instinct she told David to go start the car while she made her way over to me, taking a seat on the edge of my bed.

"You okay?" she asked.

"I'm fine," I chuckled lightly, making an attempt to play it off. "I just have an early class in the morning and I'm kind of dreading it."

She arched an eyebrow my way, "No you don't. Tomorrows Thursday, your first class is at 2." Her eyes traveled down to my journal. "And you have your journal out. You know you can tell me whats really going on. Is it something at home? Or Justin?"

My breath hitched in my throat when his name fell from her lips. I couldn't help my sudden reaction; I didn't even know I was that sensitive to anything having to do with him, especially something as small as his name. I've had countless rants about Justin toward Ashley; she knows everything, and thats why I don't know why my mind takes a double take when I hear his name.

I met eyes with her, "Look, I'm fine, okay? Besides, it doesn't even matter." I closed my journal, allowing the pages to compact together before I stuffed it underneath my mattress. I stood up and brushed off my pants, heading for the door. When I didn't hear another pair of footsteps following my lead, I turned my head over my shoulder and gestured toward Ashley. "Let's go."

She seemed to brush it off, which isn't something that comes too easy for her, so I was grateful for not having to undergo another one of her you-can-tell-me-anything-looks.

David drove, his all white Ford Mustang just barely able to hold all three of us. I sat in the back while the two of them sat in the front, David's hand clutched over Ashley's thigh. I tried not to look; it only reminded me of Justin and I. But after being surrounded by them non-stop my entire Freshman year of college, it got nearly impossible for me to avoid their every 'couple PDA move.'

David's a few years older, and not much of an interesting person if you ask my opinion. He's really got nothing going for him, other than living off of his multi-millionare of a father who spoils the shit out of his unambitious ass. I don't know what Ashley sees in him, and I'm afraid if I ask I'll unleash drama that I certainly do not need.

We pulled up in the parking lot of the bar I know far too well and hopped out, David giving me a hand out of my seat as I squeezed myself through the drivers side door. Fuck two doors.

Our usual table was taken, so we occupied a few stools at the end of the bar next to a crowd of men playing pool.

"Sorry folks, can't sit at the bar unless your twenty-one," the bartender told us, but more specifically to Ashley, may I add while he stared about eight inches south of where his eyes should have been.

He seemed to be a new worker since our usual bartender never usually questions us.

Ashley and I reached into our wallets, pulling out our fake I.D.'s that a friend of David's made for us, and slid them across the bar into his view.

He looked them over rather thoroughly before handing them back along with an apology. I never used to drink back in Canada, though I had the ability to since I was 18, but now in the states I still have two years to go until I'm legal. I try to convince myself that my over obsessive drinking is due to me just trying to have fun, because most everyone else here does it too. But I know deep inside that I'm just fighting my harsh reality of finding any possible thing to take my mind off of everything for a while.

"What can I get you three?" the bartender asked as he wiped the counter down with a napkin.

"I'll take a bud light, just leave it in the can I don't mind," David requested.

He turned his head to Ashley who reiterated her usual drink, then looked to me.

"I'll have a Jameson on the rocks with a lime please," I gave off a soft smile and watched as he prepared out drinks.

I found myself staring off into space after a few minutes of being in a trans then turned my head to see Ashley and David flirting like their usual selves. It's not that I mind being around them or being a 'third wheel,' I just hate the feeling of watching them and being reminded of everything I had with Justin. The constant feeling of knowing you have someone who loves you, the attention, the love, the kisses, the inseparable bond.. I can hardly watch them without being reminded of him.

I just hate how he's able to take over my life like this. He doesn't call, he ignores me for a year... and while he's probably going about his life in his perfect little world with all the models he could ask for begging for him at his feet, he doesn't have to go through the pain.

He gets to hurt me, and I just have to sit back and deal with the hurt.

A/N YEEEESSSS FIRST CHAPTER OF LET HER GO :))))))) I'm soooooo excited for this book you guys don't even know. PLEASe comment what you think and vote it would make me so happy:)

Thanks so much for reading.

Xoxo, Kaylee