Let Her Go (Already Broken Sequel) {J.B.}

Chapter 12

^Picture of Justin^

~Kayla's POV~
(please read authors note at the end)

Justin had to have been the most sensitive person I'd ever met. He was so incredibly closed off yet at the same time if you caught him at the right moment he'd spill everything he felt and so much more. Though that was at his state of vulnerability and I preferred not to take advantage of him then. It felt almost unfair, catching him at a breaking point and having him let go of everything he'd held onto for so long. Like it was a hold-your-breath-competition and suddenly he'd lost.

That's why I had to find out for myself. Without being face to face with him, without forcing him to spill, without pressuring him into giving himself away. I wanted to know his thoughts, I just didn't want to break him in the process.

I'd snatched his car keys earlier when he wasn't looking, and I'd been waiting for him to fall asleep before I could sneak out. His bedroom light finally shut out just before 11pm, and I was already half way out the door at that point.

When he picked me up earlier, I caught a glimpse of some music sheets in his back seat through the corner of my eye. He hadn't released any new music in over a year, and I was curious. He never made any sense when he tried to converse with me through words, so I was hoping I'd be able to pick him apart through the lyrics he practiced.

It all sounded so intrusive suddenly, but it wasn't like I was reading his journal. His songs are meant to be public, and that's what I kept telling myself to make it seem okay for me to be snooping around in his car.

I held the keys to his cherry red Ferrari and almost felt out of place when it unlocked for me. The feeling of a $500,000 car responding to my click of a button felt nice compared to my beat up corolla that was practically hanging on by the hinges. It wasn't my car, but it was fun pretending it was as I walked toward it.

Suddenly I imagined what a rush it must have been for each girl Justin toyed with to have opened this passenger door. To have sat their perfectly tight asses on what had to have been the finest leather you could buy. I pretended I was one of those girls, too. For a second.

It flashed its headlights when I opened the side door, and a pit formed in my stomach when I thought maybe it would alert Justin. I sat frozen and counted to sixty before I let go of my breath. Then to three. Then down from three. Then I checked the front door. He hadn't come rushing outside by this point, and somewhere in my mind that meant that he never would.

The car light flashed on and I fixed my eyes on the stack of papers I'd come looking for.

A smile creeped up on my face when I reached for a notebook filled with drawings. I flipped through the pages and imagined him sitting in a coffee shop when he drew this lizard. His room late at night when he drew this castle. In a parking lot when he drew this whale with no fins. My heart twisted with happiness and immense envy that one person could be fixated with as much talent as he held.

I picked up a torn in half napkin and ran my finger tips over the red crayon that was so messily scribbled on.

'home is where you are'

I turned it over.

'I want your dreams ---'

That was scribbled out.

'I wanna dream what you dream, go where you go.'

I stuffed the napkin back between the stack of papers and pulled out a sheet of paper with a paragraph of lyrics written in bold letters.