Let Her Go (Already Broken Sequel) {J.B.}

Chapter 8

^Picture of Justin^

~Kayla's POV~

"Night," I muttered, closing my door on him before he had a chance to continue our awkward conversation. My hand remained clutched on the knob, my eyes falling shut as I exhaled the breath I had been holding in. I fell gently back onto my closed door, my nerves flying crazy.

My breath came out staggered and shaky as I tried to shake the thought of him from my mind.

I squeezed my eyes shut tight, wanting to drown out my thoughts and wanting to just forget. What I would do to just forget and never have to feel the pain again.

I reached for my phone, tugging it from my pocket as the bright screen lit my dimmed room.

Two texts displayed themselves on my home screen, both from Pattie, both sent twenty minutes ago.

*2 New Messages:

From: Pattie

Hey sweetie.. I know you're expecting me back at the house tomorrow morning but unfortunately my meeting has been cancelled and switched to tomorrow at noon. Looks like I won't be getting back home 'til late tomorrow night.

Do you think you'll be okay 'til then?

New Message:

To: Pattie

I'll be fine :) Please don't worry about me, I'll be fine here and I always have Ryan and Chaz if anything goes wrong.

My thumbs raced across the keyboard, hitting send as I finished my message. I was kind of bummed that Pattie wouldn't be getting back as soon as I had thought.. but I know that if I were to voice that to her she'd drop her plans and get back as soon as possible. I just couldn't be that selfish.

I'd only been here for two days, though it felt like two weeks. Every day spent here drags on and on and it feels like it'll never end.

I can't even remember why I dragged myself into this. Why I thought things would be okay or why I thought what happened in the past could stay there. It was stupid of me to subject myself to this. It's making it worse for not only me but everyone around me. We want it "back to how it was" but accepting the fact that that may never happen is too painful.

And it kills me that what happened between me and Justin has to affect Chaz and Ryan the way it does. I almost feel that it's my fault Justin's the way he is now. He's not the same person; he's quiet and dismissive and hasn't cracked a smile in months. And because of that the friendship between the three of them is ruined.

I closed my eyes softly as that thought entered my mind. What if that's true... what if it's my fault the boys aren't nearly as close as they used to be. I know for a fact that if I were to bring that up they'd blow it off and tell me otherwise. I know they wouldn't want me to hold the burden of knowing what I did but what if they realize it too. What if they blame me for how drastically everything's changed and they recognize how I'm the one who changed it.

Before I allowed my mind to develop into detail, a loud shatter filled the house and made me jump. A rush of panic fled through my body and I knew it was Justin. I hoped to God he wasn't having one of his tantrums and that I wouldn't have to be alone to handle it. I'd already had such anxiety being here alone with him that this would set it over the edge.

I pressed speed dial number two on my phone to get Chaz on the phone. I still couldn't bring myself to remove Justin from number one.

"What's up?" he answered moments later, his voice coming off groggy as if he just woke up.