Super Emotions

Thoughts

"Seven billion people in the world trying to fit in.."

I whispered the lyrics as my guitar pick glided across the chords. The emptiness of the room scared me. All my thoughts enveloped my brain in knots and twists that confused me. I didn't know what to think of things anymore. Choices seemed harder to make, and pressure seemed even more stressful than usual. I didn't know what to make of it, or anything.

My life has always been easy and stress-free, but now, I know what sadness and heartbreak feels like.

I guess the sadness has begun to fade some-what. I have quickly begun to feel anger inside myself, and I don't know why.

I've never really thought of my emotions so deeply until now. My emotions and feelings seem like math equations. I'm not quite sure what to think of it, yet I keep thinking. Some things make my mind think harder, until they make sense. Most of the time they never end up making sense. Some equations are easier to solve than others. Marcus has not even scratched the surface on emotions compared to what I've thought about lately.

"Smile on your face even though your heart is frowning.."

I often try to stop thinking altogether. I hear it brings you to complete enlightenment on what you have seen, and what you are only beginning to see. The centering of the universe and yourself makes my mind explode and shatter just thinking about it. It would certainly be mind-blowing, in a miserable and magical way.

I sometimes wish life was easy to figure out.

"We both know it's a cruel world.."

But if life was easy to figure out and everything made sense..

"But I will take my chances"

Then there would be no need for thoughts or emotions.

I cringed as I struck a wrong chord. My jaw clenched as my fist tightly enveloped the end of my guitar. The darkness began to frighten me even more.

I jumped off my stool and ran to turn the lights on.

My tunnel of thoughts seemed to grab hold of me and wouldn't let me free. I groaned as I struggled to turn on the lights.

I was finally released from the grasp, and I flipped the lights on.

The lights flashed brightly in the small room.

I stumbled and laid down in the middle of the room on the rough carpet.

I stared aimlessly at the ceiling. The swirls of the paint never seemed so intriguing. It felt so weird to see things so differently.

"As long as you love me.."

I whispered the lyrics to myself as I stared at the ceiling.

Reality smacked me in the face as the final school bell rang.

I gathered together my bag and papers. I slung my guitar into its case and I left the recording studio.

I went there to work with Ky some days, or to just play. Music made me think, or it made me relax.

Kids scattered the hallway as I gripped my bag tightly to my chest. I was finally out the school door. The air was breezy, so I tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear while pulling down the sleeves of my sweater to cover my hands.

The autumn leaves were turning, and they crunched beneath my tan Uggs.

As I began thinking and staring at the leaves on the ground and I focused on the rhythm of my feet, I clumsily tripped over a twig and fell. I gathered all my papers and sheet music. My knuckles ached in pain as I lugged my guitar case back over my back. Readjusting my sweater, I began walking home again.

The crisp autumn breeze made me shiver as I tugged on the sleeves of my sweater. Wisps of my hair blew in the wind as I tried to repeatedly tuck them behind my ears.

I tried to push my depressing and over-thinking thoughts aside, by looking at the different leaves on the ground. Each one was the same, categorized, receiving specific names, colors, shapes, designs, etc. Kind of like humans. We're all the same.. Yet different. Each leaf has a purpose, falling to the ground is just an obstacle to get back on their feet. With each obstacle is a victory, and something new you learn.

Geez I'm craving for so much inspiration I'm practically asking leaves.

I'm turning into a hippie. Won't mother like to hear that..

As I arrived home I made myself a cup of green tea and went to my room.

I set the cup on my night stand and sat at my piano.

"As long as you love me, we're under pressure. Seven billion people in the world trying to fit in. Keep it together. Smile on your face even though your heart is frowning. But hey now, you know boy, we both know it's a cruel world. But I will take my chances.."

I whispered the lyrics as my fingers glided across the crystal white keys.

"As long as you love me, we could be starving, we could be homeless, we could be broke. As long as you love me I'll be your platinum, I'll be your silver, I'll be your gold."

My balcony doors slammed closed by a sudden gust of wind. My heart raced as I stared at the keys, all my thoughts gone but focusing on the music.

I forgot what I was doing, and I just laid on my bed, my green tea cold, just like my heart.

I stared at my ceiling.

"As long as you love me.."

A/N

Ok ok ok I'm really really really really really really sorry it's been a really really really long time since I updated.

I've been going through some hard and depressing times. Which is one reason this chapter is so deep.

I hope you liked it and I will try my best to update this story and my other story Beyond the Glass(which you should totally check out) and this story whenever I can. Thank you all so much and...

I luff you muffins!!

~Emma G.<3