Bill x Dipper one shots.

Drunk Dipper

Dipper POV
I chug the 4th beer down, trying to impress Bill, he dared me, so I'll do it, " I'LL DRINK 5 !"
"Please, don't hurt your self! Your a simple human, your helpless" Bill chuckles, as he finishes, I finish my fith.
"B...beat that!" Everything brightens up around me, I see Bill become the beautiful triangle eye, and my brain erupts
"Uhh... Dipper, you are only twelve, maybe I shouldn't have dared you.."
" Arnold Schwarzenegger approves of my jeans, BUT NOT MY SHIRT!" I strip of my shirt and swing it around, "FEAR ME ALL!!!"
Third person POV

"Goddammit " Bill muttered as he watched Dipper swing his shirt around.
Bill starts laughing " kid your sooooo feared~" with sarcasm. Dipper pointed a shaky finger at Bill.
" I'm on the verge of using y ass as a musical instrument. " he laughed crazily. wtf Bill thought.
" calm down Pinetree. " Bill cooed.
Dipper just looked at Bill with his hand out. " biii-" dipper fell face first into the coffee table. That caused a loud crash. Bill leaped over to the fallen drunk dipper right afterwards. Dipper was moaning as he layed on the coffee table. Suddenly Mable burst through the door.
" WHAT THE CRAP!" She screamed. Bill looked up smirking.
" hai there shootingstar " Bill greeted casually. Mable looked around to see 6 empty beer bottles. Then gave Bill the death glare. Bill shrugged. Mable stomped over the two boys. She put her hands on her hips, her sweater sleeves covering her pink painted fingernails.
" you just got my brother drunk." Mable accused. Bill shrugged
" I told him not too Shootingstar"
Mable rolled her brown eyes.
" riiight, now you get my brother up the stairs!"
Bill stood up and made a playful military salute to Mable.
" Sir yes sir shootingstar" he smirked.
Mable tried her best not to crak a laugh. She failed. Mable walked back to the other room. She quickly did the two finger I'm watching you symbol with her fingers. Then turned the corner to the next room.
Bill looked down at Dipper attempting to get up. He started to laugh quietly, he was laughing. He grabbed Dippers wrist and drug him up the stairs. Dipper groaned as he head hit the steps as Bill dragged him up. Dippers hat fell off halfway up and rolled down them. Bill flicked his fingers to the right and the door opened. He dragged dipper inside the room. Dipper softly groans as Bill lifts the brunet into his bed. Bill gently sat down on the end of his bed.
" B-iiiil" dipper squeaked.
Bill looked at dipper , trying not to laugh.
" Ya pine tree?" 
" k-kiss me " dipper responded
Bill was confused.
" really? You sure?" Bill hesitates
Dipper nods. " yes"
"Okay dipper " Bill cooed.
He leaned in and held dippers face close. And they touched lips. Bill pulled away. " get sum sleep Pintree " Bill whispered.
Dipper fell right asleep with Bill leaning at the end of the bed.

Morning!

Dipper POV

I wake up with a hammering headache. I don't remember much of last night. Accept fuzzily being dragged up here. I look over to see Bill, awake at the end oft bed.
" morning dipper ~" he greeted.
I got up but am merged with a wave of nausea. I lay back down. Suddenly I need to vomit. I leap up ignoring my headache and run to the bathroom. As I shit the door I hear Bill laughing hysterically.

Mwqhqhahaa