Looking down from heaven

I cried myself to sleep last night

Leela's Pov
So that was it.

All my waiting, all my longing...

For nothing.

I was officially number 1 loser of the school.

No hope left.

I cried myself to sleep last night.

Again.

Tissues are my friend. Mascara is not.

I feel so alone.

Do people even care?

I cried myself to sleep last night.

Do people realise?

I put on a brave face every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week. Because 'I'm fine'.

No one realised.

Or maybe they just didn't care.

All the whispers. All the rumours. All the punches.

All my inside scares. All my feelings. All my bruises.

My world is always shaking and I'm always spinning.

If this is normal I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE.

Can I scream please?

It wouldn't matter anyway.

No one would hear.

I'm disappearing and it feels like I'm invisible to the world.

'GET OUT OF BED YOU NEED TO EAT'

I can't....I'm turning iNsAnE.

Im laughing.

I'm crying.

It feels like I'm dying.

I smile.

I try.

But the truth is I want to die.

'LEELA. I THOUGHT YOU STOPPED CUTTING?'

Nope...I'm just not NoRmAl. I'm SoRrY. I'm MeNtAl.

i'M aLoNe

I'm InViSaBlE.

i'M iNsAnE.

nO oNe NoTiCeS aNyWaY.

'YOU NEED TO GO TO SCHOOL'

I can't... I'm A dRuG aDdIct.

LoSt.

AlOnE.

sCaReD.

iNvIsAbLe.

MeNtAl.

NoBoDy.

Me.

....

ME.