Sarah Smiles

Chapter 10

Dedicated to wiseviolets, for always messaging me great notes and baby advice.

Brendon took my hand and danced with me. We had flowers in our hair and we laughed as we span round and round, tumbling over into the long grass. Brendon leaned over me, looking down into my face. He softly stroked my cheek, opening his mouth and singing in a voice that wasn’t his…”Look at this stuff. Isn’t it neat?”  I looked up at him confused. I started to feel scared. That wasn’t Brendon’s voice! But he carried on singing to me. I felt a rising panic as I sat up and pushed…my bed cover off me. That voice was still singing, but instead of coming from Brendon’s lips, it was coming from my phone on the bedside table.

I grabbed my ringing phone, smiling as I saw Brendon’s face on the screen.

“Hello?” I answered the phone sleepily.

“Meet me in the lobby in 10 minutes.” Brendon said. There was no joking, no apology for the early call. Just an instruction. He hung up without saying anything else and I was left feeling confused and my heart beating too fast with sudden nerves.

What on earth could Brendon act like that? He was always playing around, joking and having a laugh. He was even a morning person!  In my confusion, I just did what I needed to. I quickly dressed, brushed my teeth and did my hair. I was out of the hotel room in 8 minutes flat. I arrived in the lobby to see Brendon leaning against a wall. He gave me a small smile as I approached him. I stopped in front of him .

“Hi.” I said simply. He looked at me, obviously unsure of what to say. He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again. He blinked and he looked so adorable. I pulled him into a hug, wrapping my arms around his middle, breathing in the smell of his neck.

“Whatever it is, don’t freak. What’s the worst that could happen?” I whispered as close to his ear as I could get.  Brendon pulled away a bit and looked down at me. He sighed deeply and kissed the top of my head.

“I’m going to miss you so much!” he whispered. “Too much.”

I took a deep breath. I’d been preparing myself for this moment since he’d kissed me on stage. I’d imagined every scenario. The romantic, dramatic ones where Brendon cried and said he couldn’t live without me, before proposing and taking me back home with him, to the ones where Brendon left without so much as a text message goodbye. This one seemed to be a healthy balance, so far.

“You’ll be back in the summer, for the festivals! If you even remember me by then, we’ll meet up for a catch up. This isn’t the end of a friendship, Brendon. That’s what the internet is for!” I say soothingly.

“I don’t want to meet up for a catch up. I want to see you every day. I want to be able to kiss you. And I’d like to think of this as more than a friendship.”

“Then what are we, Brendon?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

“I don’t know.”

“Exactly. So, this is my suggestion. You leave for the rest of the European tour. You’ll go back home and rest. We can email and skype and tweet and all the rest of it. But we’re not committed. So if while you’re on tour, you meet the girl of your dreams, you’ll be free to pursue her without panicking about breaking my heart.”

“But I think I already have.” Brendon whispered.

“Have what?”

“Met the girl of my dreams on tour.”

I felt my eyes fill up. I will not cry, I try to convince myself, but I feel the tears begin to slip out. I rush forward to small distance between me and Brendon and press my face against his chest. I’m crying onto his t-shirt and that makes me cry even more. Every time I see Brendon, I seem to make a mess.

Brendon rests his chin on the top of my head and I think I feel a tear drop splash onto my hair.

“Urgh, Brendon, don’t do this to me.” I groan into his chest.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers into my hair. I breathe deeply, inhaling the smell of him. Then, before I wimp out, I step back, kiss him gently on the lips and then start to back away. Brendon looks at me, and he is crying too. I try to keep my breathing even as I back away from him, knowing this could be the last time I ever see him. My back reaches the wall next to the lift. I stop.

“Don’t forget, this is on you. I’ll be here next summer.” The lift doors ping as they open behind me and I smoothly step backwards into it, but smack into someone leaving the lift. It’s Spencer, and he is crying. He looks down at me for a moment, before grabbing me and wrapping his arms around me.

“Take care of her for me.” He whispers before letting go and walking away to stand beside Brendon. This is the saddest goodbye I’ve ever been a part of. The lift doors close and it moves up.

AN: I'm sorry. Please don't hate me! Another short one. I'm pretty exhausted with this whole small child  malarky, but I'll try and update as soon as I can.  I'm gunna try and write ahead as much as I can so that I can just upload. We'll see how it goes. :)

Love ya, Sunny xx