Shattered Appearances ✓

n i n e: One Little Sip Will Make The Sadness Go Away

Stephanie's black eye has been slowly disappearing and while the physical mark isn't there anymore, it's clear she still holds a grudge on me. She and I were on the other side of the couch, her trying to take Snapchat selfies, while I searched inside my bag.

"Where the hell is my journal?" I muttered to myself as I dumped the contents of the bag and looked through it. The journal wasn't that important to me, I barely used it anymore, but it was the information in it. One look in it and I would be the social pariah.

'Why don't you check the garbage? That's where your stuff should be."

I huffed in anger while I looked at her. I did not have time for this. "What is your problem with me anyway? I tried to be nice but clearly that isn't working out. I don't understand your intense dislike for me.I'm the one that should be angry, but I'm not."

"The fact that you don't understand why only proves my point. You only think about yourself. You said that that you don't care what other think of you. If that's true, then why are you so intent on finding your journal? Just let it go."

"Just because I don't care about other people's opinions, doesn't mean it's pleasant to have everyone against you. Now I don't know about you, but I have better things to do than discuss petty arguments."

Then I put everything back into my bag and headed for the door. I grabbed my jacket since it was starting to get cold again and retraced my steps. It was mid October and the leaves were already starting to change color to various shades of red, orange and yellow. It would have a pretty sight if I wasn't rushing past it to get to the last spot I saw my journal.

My mind was hazy on where exactly was I seated since it was about a week ago. It was then that familiarity kicked in and I approached the same bench that Paige and I sat last week. I knew it was a long shot since an entire week had past, but I still held on to hope.

Nothing was there.

I looked under the bench, and also near the grass and, admittedly, in the trash. Finding it nowhere, I prayed that someone didn't find it and just decided to throw it out, and went along my way. Although it was hard, I took Stephanie's advice and did what she said.

I let it go.

*~*

Coming home dejectedly wasn't fun, and when I went to the living room, Stephanie wasn't where she sat before. Monica took her place instead and she was reading Fifty Shades Darker. Her eyes scanned each page and hungrily enjoyed all the words.

"Enjoying the book?" I said amusedly.

"Very much so." She responded matter-of-factly before she noticed what book she was reading. Monica looked back at me for a moment before scoffing and went back to her previous activity.

Going up stairs, I kicked off my shoes, and jumped onto the bed. Looking around, I still saw my old band poster that I've been longing to clean up for weeks. The rest of my packages from Maryland finally arrived and I have yet to unpack them. Seeing as I have nothing to do, I decided to further decorate my room up to my standards.

Opening the first set of boxes, I piled my clothes on the bed so they can be organized later. Then I took down some of my Big Time Rush posters (I was ten at the time) and kept them in my closet. Looking through my drawers, I searched for what could be thrown out when I stumbled on a picture. Turning the frame around, I saw remnants of broken glass. Behind the pieces was a picture of Stephanie, Giselle and I. Stephanie was braiding my hair while I watched T.V and Giselle could be seen in the background playing with her G.I Joe action figure. Both Stephanie and I were twelve at the time while Giselle was six.