Chapter 2

85 2 1
  • Dedicated to Sabbiie
                                    

 Dedicated to Sabbiie, for being my first fan and giving me the idea and confidence to make this a story...Thank You.

 ************************

Chapter 2

(Anna’s P.O.V)

After I had gotten home last night, for once I didn’t cry myself to sleep. I was completely intrigued with the nameless boy. He was disturbing, he made me very uneasy, but it was fascinating. I had never met another person that seemed to think the same way I did. I was interested, in a detached sort of way, but even that was dangerous. However, I let myself study it out in my mind. I was in desperate need of reprieve, some sort of distraction. And I grabbed the first thing I found.

***

When I woke up the next morning, I realized that it was the last Saturday of summer. I would be starting school on Monday.  I wasn’t particularly nervous, just dreading the loss of freedom. I had a plan for school: keep my grades up, my head ducked down, and just blend in. I just had to do that until I could get to college and get away from my piece-of-crap life. I could start over. A blank slate. That was all I wanted.

I dragged myself out of bed and went to feed Ary. After I did that—skipping breakfast once again—I headed back up to my room. I needed to puzzle out the jewelry box. My mom left it to me; it was like she knew she was going to die. Anyhow, it was locked, and I had no idea how to open it. There was no keyhole, no latch, nothing. I gingerly picked it up and searched it all over for the tenth time. I found nothing except the little winding knob on the bottom that told me it was a music box.

I studied the design on the top. It was a beautiful little Japanese piece that my mother had gotten from her travels there. There was a branch of cherry blossoms in raised metal, some blossomed, others tightly closed. I ran my fingers over the top to see if there were any ridges, catches, anything. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zero.

I set it down with a huff, extremely frustrated. Why leave me a locked box, with no way to open it? It just didn’t make sense. Especially with my mother being a fairly straightforward person. I rubbed my temples and closed my eyes. Mental focus was what I needed. I sat up straight, kept my eyes closed, and focused solely on the coming and going of my breathing. In, out. In, out. In, out.

After a while I reopened my eyes and stared dejectedly at the box. Unanswerable questions flooded my mind, why leave me an unopened box? Why leave me with no instructions?

Why did she have to go? At that, the tears that didn’t fall last night came in a torrent down my face. And then, I just sat and I cried. I cried that she was gone, that the doctors screwed up, that she left me frustrated and lonely. I was so desolate I just didn’t know what to do. I looked over at my desk, where I knew there was a knife laying under some papers in a drawer.

Of their own volition, my legs carried me over to my desk, my hands opened the drawer, picked up the knife, and then my legs took me back to the bed.

I sat on my bed for who knows how long just staring at the razor sharp blade in my hand. Then, experimentally, I placed it against my skin. I just stared at it, knowing I could end it all, here and now. Then I thought of my mother. How she would want me to live, be happy, even if she wasn’t here anymore. I remembered what she always said when she was upset or down. “When in doubt, write it out.” Disgusted with it, I threw the knife back in the drawer and picked up a pen instead. Then, I started to write.

Exude a confidence you don’t feel

Keep the smile plastered on your face

Let know one know how you’re bleeding inside

Blending in is the only way to survive this place.

You wish your false emotions were real,

You wish your real emotions were false.

But the pain that you feel inside,

Is better than nothing at all.

Your smile and lies deceive everyone

There is no one you can’t fool.

You’re the only one you can look to,

Everyone else is heartless and cruel.

I looked down at the ink on the page, and felt a little piece of me go free. It was exhilarating.

Feeling much better, I made my way into the bathroom and nearly shrieked when I saw my face in the mirror. My hair was limp, I had bags under my red, swollen eyes, and my face seemed a bit gaunt. However, I could still see my “hazel” eyes. Honestly that was just what people called them, as they couldn’t really figure out their color. I called them “stuck in the middle,” because they were. Somewhere between green, brown, and hazel was where you would find my color.

My tan skin, a side effect of being partially Italian. My hair, also a stuck-in-the-middle color, (and ringlet-curly) was caught somewhere between blond, brown, and red. Just another confusing aspect of me.

I decided I had better start taking care of myself, or people would notice me. And that was exactly what I didn’t want to happen.  So, I took a shower, brushed my hair, and used what little make-up I owned to fix my face. I decided to just let my hair air dry while I started on one of my new books.

I’ve loved books ever since I can remember. Even before I could read, I always made my mom read to me whatever book she was on at the time. For me, it was like a beautiful alternate reality that you could jump for a while, where you could empathize with character’s problems but not actually have to endure them yourself.

So I settled in for the day, and so, so stupidly forgot to question why I hadn’t seen my father all day. I should have known better than that, but, no one can say that I didn’t pay dearly for my ignorance.

******************************************************************************************************************

So here's chapter 2. I know it's still going pretty slow, and kind of depressing, but I promise it will get better if you just give it a chance. And a little bit of a cliffie at the end there, the next chapter throws Anna another curve-ball. Anyways, I would be honored if you commented and gave me some feedback. Be brutal if you want! I'm not gonna hate on you. I might actually give you a shout out...but I understand some people read on their phones and it's more complicated and such. Anyhow, didn't mean to babble, so sorry. But yay for getting this out on time! Even if it is a bit short...

She Just RanWhere stories live. Discover now