Hate is a strong word, but I still hate you.

Chapter seventeen, Jess

*Rayne's POV*

   "Who's this?" Taylor asked.
   "Alison. We're old friends. I saw her when I went for my walk. She was kicked out because ... Because ... Because ..." I broke off. Taylor burped and her hand flew to her mouth. She ran off. "Excuse me. Got to keep up appearances." I said. I pointed to the front room where Alison went and sat down. I ran after Taylor and held her short hair back.
   "This has been happening way too much lately." She said.
   "Yeah." She sat back and then took a deep breath. "So, who's Alison?" She asked.
   "I saw her. I said she could stay. It not like we don't have room." She gave a weak laugh.
   "Yeah." I helped her to her feet and walked with her to the front room.
   Alison had turned the T.V on and perched on the edge of the sofa.
    "BRAKING NEWS!" The television startled me and I looked up. "Jessica Marie Grassland was beaten to death in her own home." Jess? I dropped to my knees. "Her abusive mother admitted to killing her this morning, saying she didn't want a disgrace for a daughter. Jessica had recently become pregnant after being sexually assaulted by her boyfriend. Police have arrested Carol-" I screamed. I ran to my room, screaming the whole way. I threw pillows and tossed my duvet to the floor. I grabbed the lamp from the bedside table and held it in the air. Taylor grabbed my wrists and I screamed. She took the lamp from my hands and put it back. She held me in a tight hug and I hugged her back. I screamed again.
   I felt so bad. I was cheating on her whilst she was being beaten to death. I screamed and Taylor stroked my hair.
   "It's okay honey." I sniffed and let my tears stream. "It's all going to be fine."
   "It's not." I muttered.
   "Why sweetie?"
   "She is ... Was my girlfriend." I cried harder. I felt Taylor stiffen momentarily when I said girlfriend but she continued to comfort me.
   Katy stepped into the room and gasped. Taylor let go of me and stood up. I curled into a ball and cried. They both sat down on either side of me and I put my head in Katy's lap.
   "She's gay?" I heard Katy whisper.
   "Yeah." Taylor whispered back. I tried to pull my knees tighter to my chest.
   My heart felt as though it had been hacked out of my chest and someone was crushing it. The pain was too much. I wanted to turn back time so I could run to her house and save her from her mother. I just wanted her back. I bit at my cheek until I could taste blood then I moved onto the other cheek. Then my tongue.
   I didn't want to be here. I wanted to go with Jess. It was one way to get away from Taylor.
   I suddenly hated Taylor even more. I wanted to hurt her just as much as I was hurting.
   "Go away Taylor." I spat. She hesitated but got up and left. I bit into my hand to stop from screaming. Blood poured from my hand and my mouth now. Katy took my hand and wrapped both of her hands around it.
   "Come on. Let's go get cleaned up." She got me to my feet and into the bathroom. She cleaned the blood from my hand, then my face. When she finished she wiped the tears from my eyes and held me in a hug.
   "I miss her so much." I said. "It hurts." I know I only just found out but it still felt horrible.
   "It's okay." She rubbed her hand up and down my back, making me sleepier than I already am. I soon fell asleep and went to a land where Jess still existed. 

*Taylor's POV*

   I sat downstairs next to Alison.
   "Hi." I said. She ignored me. "How are you?" 
   "Fine." She mumbled.
   "It okay, there's nothing to be scared of." I put my hand on her shoulder and she flinched away. She moved to the other end of the sofa.
   "I'm not scared." She tugged at the bottom of her top. It was black with golden letters swirled across it. 
   I'm stuck in a room made of Prism's but I'm One of the Boys living my Teenage Dream so it's fine -Katycat
   Great. Another Katycat.
   "Nice top." I said. She laughed nervously.
   "Thanks, I made it in my project class at school, before I quit." She looked away and tugged at her shirt again. She pulled the long sleeves further down her arms.
   "You quit school. Why?" She looked up at me and her eyes showed fear.
   "I had to go to a therapist and the school bullied me because of it."
   "If you don't mind me asking why did you have to see a therapist?" She tugged at her sleeves again.
   "I have depression. I know Rayne does too, well, ADHD, I recognised the signs. They gave me drugs and I tried to overdose. I tried to slit my wrists twice." She slid up her sleeve and there were several long lines going down her arms. Three were new. She laughed and stood up. She grabbed her bag and stepped around me, heading for the door.
   "Umm. Your room's this way." I showed her upstairs and into my old room. She sat down and opened her bag. She took out a top and hung it in the wardrobe then collected another top. I left and closed the door. Wyatt wrapped his arms around me from behind.
   "Don't worry babe. Everything will sort itself out, it always does."
   "I hope so." He scooped me up and carried me to bed. I snuggled close to him and closed my eyes.  I heard a scream from next door and I sat up. I made my way to Rayne's room and opened her door. Katy was holding Rayne like a baby. 
   "Shh, don't worry. Just let it all out." She was rocking her back and forth.
   "Thanks Katy." My heart went out to Rayne, even if she didn't accept it, I know she loved Jess.

*Alison's POV*

   Once Taylor left I hurriedly put my things away and sat on the bed. It was a nice room but it wasn't my style. I heard a scream and I jumped.
   I slid off the bed and into the hall and saw Taylor peeping through one of the doors. A man came up behind her and carried her away after whispering something in her ear. I peeped through the door and my heartbeat picked up. I knew I was fangirling. My idol was in that room.
   Rayne was crying and Katy was rocking her back and forth. Katy looked up and saw me and I ran back to the other room as quietly as I could. I sat on the bed and faced away from the door.
   My heart hammered against my chest for multiple reasons, I saw Katy Perry, she saw me, I think I liked Rayne. A lot. Well this happened quite quickly.
   There was a soft knock at the door then it clicked open.
   "Hey." I recognised the voice instantly. My heart was going to break through my ribs at any moment.
   I glanced over my shoulder.
   "Hi." I looked back ahead of me and focused on one spot on the wall.
   "I saw you outside of Rayne's room." The bed besides me sank and I assumed she had sat down.
   "I was looking for the bathroom." I lied.
   "That's the oldest excuse in the book." She laughed. I let out a small laugh and hoped she couldn't hear my heart. It was like an elephant thumping on my chest only a billion times faster.
   Her hand rest on my shoulder and I turned to look at her.
   It wasn't how I'd imagined meeting her but it was still amazing.
   She had no makeup on and her hair was a mess. Her clothes were wrinkled and looked like she needed to change.
   I ran my hand through my shoulder length black hair and hoped it wasn't as bad as hers.
   I looked back down and tugged my sleeves down, I didn't want her to think I was a failure.
   "It's okay Ali." She took my hands in hers and I looked at them. No one ever called me Ali. It wasn't even a nickname until now. "I know."
   "You do?" I looked up at her and she had tears in her eyes.
   "Yes. Rayne told me." She glanced at the door. "I don't think your a failure. I think your strong.
   "I know it's hard, not wanting to live, but you've made it this far. That makes you strong." I glanced at the door and saw Rayne. She was leaning against the door, smiling. I looked back at Katy. A single tear slipped out of her eye and she hurriedly brushed it away. "I know what you're going through. I've gone through a couple of rough patches myself." I knew what she was referring to. She'd tried to commit suicide before. "Promise me you won't do it again."
   She slid up one of my sleeves.
   "Okay." I whispered.
   "I like your top, by the way." She smiled.
   "Thanks. I made it at school. I actually have one from the release of each album."
   The first one says 'I'm One of the Boys.'
   The second says 'I'm One of the Boys living my Teenage Dream' and the final one is the one I'm wearing.
   "Can I see them?" Katy asked. I slid off the bed and hesitantly took them from the closet. I handed them to her and she smiled. "You must be dedicated." She said. I felt my cheeks heat and I looked at the floor. My hand was held by Rayne.
   "I told you she was staying at my house. Well done for keeping the fangirling to a low." She whispered. I looked at her. Even though she's a year older than me we were the same height. She was really skinny though.
   I looked at Katy who was putting the clothes away. She winked at Rayne then left.
   "Thank you." Rayne said to Katy as the door clicked shut. "How did things go with Taylor?" She asked.
   "We spoke about stuff then she showed me to my room."
   "Exciting." Rayne said sarcastically. The door opened.
   "Breakfast's ready." Taylor said before leaving again.
   We went downstairs and the man introduced himself. He was called Wyatt. He used to be Rayne's stepbrother but was now dating Taylor.
   Rayne said she would explain later. I sat next to her at the island as breakfast was served. This was the first thing I'd eaten in days.
   It was bagels with cream cheese. I ate one before I didn't want to eat anymore. Rayne also ate one. Wyatt had four and Katy had two. Taylor ate two and a half before she pushed away and vomited in the sink. Wyatt rubbed her back and I sat there awkwardly.
   "Is she okay?" I asked Rayne when Wyatt took Taylor upstairs to get changed.
   "She's pregnant."
   "From Wyatt?"
   "No John."
   "But they ended months ago."
   "He came back and assaulted her."
   "And I thought my life was dramatic." Rayne laughed and we went into the front room. The news was still on.
   "Rumours have been confirmed by John Meyer. Taylor Swift is pregnant. The artist tweeted about getting her pregnant when she drugged him and forced him into it." Rayne cut the T.V off. She grabbed her phone and began typing viciously.
   Taylor is pregnant. She was raped by John Meyer.
   Well. Let's see how the media copes with this one.
   "My phone is blocked already." She said after thirty seconds.
   "RAYNE!" Taylor yelled. She ran upstairs and I followed. "How dare you!"
   "He told the press you drugged him!" Rayne shouted. "He said you forced him to. I was just keeping you safe from ..."
   Taylor opened her mouth to say something but more vomit came out.
   "Thanks." She gasped.
   "You're welcome." Rayne spat before grabbing my hand and leaving.