bottled tears | TFiOS

ii.

she pulls her cardigan closer to her slim frame with one hand, the other pulling at her oxygen tank. she walks past a street light and immediately hears her name before it fades away again. she steps beneath another light and, this time, she remains standing beneath the light that illuminates her features. she hears her name again, this time it is closer. she absentmindedly responds simply with, "yeah?" her tone is quiet and gentle. 

"so it is you, hazel?" the voice is feminine but she cannot point out who it belongs to. two figures step out from behind thick bushes. the first is a petite girl with a broad grin, sparkling pink lips and wavy blonde curls. the second is more recognisable and he is latched onto the girl's arm. 

"thalia, issac. hi," hazel smiles. issac chuckles slightly, standing up straighter. he slides his arm around thalia's waist after snaking it out from her arm. 

"hello," thalia smiles, her blue orbs sparkling beautifully in the moonlight. "what are you doing out and about at a time like this? especially all alone." the girl's eyes radiate sympathy, possibly for the cancer amid hazel's body.

"it's night, it's cool, it's lovely," she replies, diverting her eyes to the coffee shop behind her. the light above her blinds and illuminates her simultaneously so she steps away from it, closer to the couple in front of her. she remembers her first conversation with thalia, issac's first girlfriend since becoming blind. "i respect blind people, they judge people not by their looks but their personality." at first, hazel had not understood. because, seriously, thalia is beautiful. she has healthy, bouncy curls and a gorgeous smile that makes boys swoon. but then, she realised, finally. she realised that other boys would take advantage of her looks whilst issac could not even see her.

"well, we were about to head into there anyway," thalia motions to the coffee shop that she had turned her eyes to earlier. she grabs issac's arm from around her waist and links them together. they walk ahead of hazel but they open the door for her. she smiles in thanks and whispers a quick thank you into issac's cheek. he nods before they follow behind her. thalia finds a seat and they order their drinks.

"so, how are you?" hazel asks whilst staring at thalia take a sip of her cappuccino. the blonde swallows slowly and winces as the scalding hot liquid slides down her throat.

"good," she replies with a slight nod.

"and you, issac?"

"we saw each other a few days ago, hazel. but i'm still good from then," he chuckles. hazel nods and watches as issac drums his fingers against the wooden table in front of them. she sits across from the couple, feeling awkward and shy, though she knows they are her friends. "how about you, hazel?" 

"i don't get it," she says without answering his question. "you seem more professional around thalia. when i visited you when your mother was out, you were calling me support groups hazel and hazel grace. two names that remind me somewhat of gus but two names that i like." thalia raises an eyebrow at her and slides her folded arms across the table towards hazel, her body following afterwards. she cannot go very far, considering she cannot be any taller than five feet. 

"are you saying," she whispers, "that it's my fault that issac is acting the way he should be?" hazel raises an eyebrow now and shakes her head.

"i'm just saying, issac, be yourself around thalia." she pushes her chair away from the table, using her hands to push against the wooden edge of the table. she slings her legs around and grabs her oxygen tank with one hand, giving a little wave with the other. "goodbye, cheerio, toodle pip - have a good night, both of you."

"hazel?" after hearing her mother's voice, her eyes continuously flutter open and then shut. finally, she wills them to stay open and that is when her mother removes the nubs from her nostrils and connects her oxygen tank to her.