A Two World Life

Confused

I might as well give him a try and see if I like him. He's just taking me on a casual date no big deal. I hopped out of the car and was glad of finally glad to take the pleasant weather. After waking into the restaurant, I was hit with a delicious, greasy, fatty smell. I ordered a half a chicken Parmesan sub. Rohan payed for me, just like Caleb did on my first date. I was intrigued how different both the guys were. Caleb was more carefree almost, he was himself with me. Rohan wasn't like that. He was trying hard to keep me happy. Caleb someone just got me, like he knew me all his life and easily accommodated me to things I liked the best. And I thought that was the best feeling, but with Rohan I am learning maybe love is different. Maybe it is someone getting to know you and working hard to see you smile.

"Where should we go?" Rohan asked me. 

"I don't know. I asked you to teach me." I smiled at him teasingly. 

"Alright, lets sit there and eat first because I am starving." He jutted his chin at the black, metal that was beautifully designed to seat two people. He respected my space and kept a decent gap between us. 

"I love this stuff." I said after taking my first bite. He seemed surprised I spoke out.

"I am glad you like it, I wasn't sure if you would." 

"Are you kidding me? This is one of my favorite places on earth. I wouldn't mind living here for the rest of my life." 

After saying that, I realized why I me and Caleb had such a smooth and easy time. I experienced so many firsts with Caleb that he never needed to know what I liked. I guess our relationship was more like friendship than I thought. He took me to places he found interesting or showed me things he thought I might appreciate, but he never once had to ask me if I liked something because he was the one I experienced the majority of my good times with. That's why I can't just let him go, he is my best friend. He showed me things I never saw and I showed him things he never saw so we both were using our relationship as a foundation to build our lives but we never once realized it wasn't romance. We worked like a team, but there wasn't any thing more to us than basic friendship. I wish he could see that. I hope he will come around soon and that I will never have to hurt him again. 

"Are you serious? I love this place, too! I came here my freshman year and god every bite was a heaven"

Rohan had an excited look on his face. I realized maybe we both need to get to know each other and then open up. Maybe this is what falling in love is, getting to know each other. I mean I get it, friends could turn into lovers like Caleb and I but sometimes friends are just friends. But a boy friend is more than that, he needs to make you feel like you are him not just a part of him. He needs to make you feel like you are both one person. Caleb never made me feel that way. I knew everything about his life, he knew everything about mine, but we could never see each other as one. He fulfilled a lot of my boyfriend requirements, but he just didn't make me feel like I had a challenge. Everything about him was easy, for a lack of better term. I didn't feel the rush.

"I came here my sophomore year with a couple friends. Every since then, I came back a lot. Especially me and Cal, we would leave school and walk around."

"Cal, huh? You'll never forget him, then?"

I shook my head.

"Listen, I will never forget Cal. He was and is my best friend to this day. No one understood me like Cal did and I thought that was love meant, but that was in the past. I was never in love with him, but I loved him like a friend. Its crazy, I know. How can I be so stupid to mistake friendship and love?"

"I don't think so." He surprised me yet again. "I think there is a very fine line between both. There were times my brothers would give me gifts or throw me a surprise party or something. Now, that was love but love from friendship. It's hard not to blend the lines. I am a straight guy, but maybe if I was the other way it might've been different. You get what I am saying?"