When I wake up, I'm lying on the office floor and it feels as if a ton of bricks fell straight onto my head .. but then again it wouldn't be too bad. Because it would mean death and these days death has been sounding really good, perhaps way too good.
"Good morning Mrs Ivory" I hear a cheerful voice greet me. I struggle to lift my head but after a while I manage to. The school office is decorated by piles and piles of paperwork and documents that need to be completed and it has the raw smell of wet wood and newly printed paper, for a while this smell takes me to a place of safety and warmth.
"I did say good morning, didn't I?" the voice repeats. I strain my eyes to find where the voice is emanating from. Suddenly a pair of green eyes stare right into mine and I feel .. vulnerable but its a good vulnerable not the usual vulnerable I feel when I walk down the school hallway. "Neil, do you mind giving her room to actually breath?"
"Sorry uhm .. I'll come back later to check up on her." Soon after those words leave his perfectly formed lips, his deep green eyes give me a once over one more time then he leaves without another word. Why did I catch myself staring at his lips and into his eyes?
My cracked lips and dry throat croak out a question " Who was that?" The school secretary stands up from her desk and walks towards me in small catwalk like strides, at that very moment I notice the mockery laced across her face.
" Fancy how you won't greet me back but as soon as you open those pink lips of yours you ask me about a boy who has no interest in you whatsoever, how sad." Her words fly out of her month like daggers that slash my chest wide open and leave me for dead. Why did she put emphasis on the word boy? Does she think I'm lesbian? My train of thoughts is interrupted by a hall pass falling at my feet, I hurriedly pick the hall pass up and run out of the devil's lair but unfortunately I e up in her front yard where all her little pets are running around packing their school books, gossiping, fighting, kissing while waiting for the school bell to ring.
I make for my locker trying my best not draw any attention to myself .. head down, shoulders down, I chant as I manoeuvre through people who's sole purpose in high school is to destroy me, not my life, me.
As my locker approaches in the distance, I feel flooded by relief until out of the blue, a rough hand lands on my shoulder, "If you were mine you'd not get the same treatment you're getting now." He simply states like he can just own me.
Neil.
Something deep inside me hates him because I know that he is a trap .. they are using him to get to me. Why would a guy like him be interested in a thing like me and yes, they have reduced me to the level where I cannot consider myself a human life. So I walk away without a glance back and as I walk away, I make a pact with myself and it goes like this : -I will not give him the time of day and you know what, neither the time of night.-
*****
I am absolutely fuming because these people think that my existence doesn't matter and that they can do with me as they please. I just want to curl into a ball and cough myself to death. They cannot see that I can only take so much, they have have turned me into a sunflower without sunlight. Without hope of seeing another day and yet they keep pushing me. A day will come when I will snap .. mark my words ★.
YOU ARE READING
Does My existance matter
Teen Fiction"What exists after Death?", I asked myself, the smell of death had become more and more apparent with each day that had come and gone within one breath. "Whatever it is, it can't be worse than living" I answered myself. I knew however that I had ans...
