I wake up early on Monday morning to a well designed smell that lingered in the air of my bedroom and you could'nt help but wonder what it was.
I jumped out of bed and allowed my sense of smell to lead me into the kitchen where I found my mom and older sister sitting Around the kitchen table making small talk.
They always seem to have something to chat about and I always seem to get lost in their chattering.
I am not a really talkative or outgoing person, I'm just different .. the odd one out like they call me at school. But then again I've been called worse.
"Ivory, snap out of it!" my sister yells " We have to get to school and you still look so uhm so wretched! That's the word" she clicks her fingers sarcastically.
I give her an annoyed look and to emphasise it I pout my lips until she gives a small chuckle and leaves the kitchen. As soon as Ashley leaves the room my mom yells after her not to finish all the hot water in the geyser because she has a tendency to do so. Her explanation for depleting all the hot water is that she has to look good at all times since you never know who could be watching, give me a break.
The only reason why Ashley bathes for hours on end it that she wants to look good for all those jocks who gag over her the entire school day so they can continue gagging over her. Although I do not blame them because she does have a perfect figure that she shows off every chance she gets, perfectly aligned teeth and pretty much perfect everything too.
I have to admit that I am a bit jealous that no one can see me for who I am because the entire school has already labeled me and I don't even have the power or ability to change that.
As I take a shower, I look straight at my naked body in the full body mirror but I no longer see myself, I see someone who has cut herself more times than she has loved herself, someone who is removing herself from the warmth of the world and exposing herself to its hate. And with each passing second is hating herself more and more.. without warning I just burst out crying, I cried till my throat became dry and patchy. That's when I had the sudden realization that I was pretty much alone in the world and the saddest part of it all was that I was going to die alone.
I made it through breakfast and now as I walk to school, I am looking forward to making it through my day. With each step I take my heart beats a bit faster and it grows more audible, and as I see the school gate at a distance my heart stops .. literally stops and an over powering feeling of nausea takes control of my already sweating, shaking body. What is it? Is it fear?
"Oh my God, look at her!"
"What the hell is she doing?"
That's the last thing I hear before I fall, then my body collides with the cold hard floor.
I wish it could open up and swallow me .. for good.
YOU ARE READING
Does My existance matter
Ficțiune adolescenți"What exists after Death?", I asked myself, the smell of death had become more and more apparent with each day that had come and gone within one breath. "Whatever it is, it can't be worse than living" I answered myself. I knew however that I had ans...
