I finish showering at exactly 06:00 and I decide that a banana will do well as breakfast.
I don't think I'm in the space to look my mom in the eye after what happened earlier, actually I don't think I'll ever be in the space to face her anytime soon. I just figure I'm scared to confront her and her "stuff", I don't even know what to call it. It's just so awkward and overbearing.
As I walk down the busy street, I happen to notice that the sun isn't out and there is a bit of a breeze.
I like this type of weather, people calm down a little. Its like they follow suit with the weather's somber feel. No one is as loud as when the sun is shining. Even those girls..
I tug at my cardigan to get it to cover my chest, the breeze just happened to be increasing speed.
"Ivy, wait up!"
Oh God, this is the last thing I need.
I start walking faster, like I stole something and I'm trying making my getaway.
Before I can even take four long steps, Neil's long legs send him to a halt at my side. "I think I asked you to wait up not to sprint away from me." He half laughs. "Since when do you tell me what to do?" I snap. My words always come out this way, all messed up and cold. I should be relieved that Neil still wants to talk to me after I bit his head off the last time we spoke. The strangest thing is how much time I spent thinking of the feelings of this complete stranger.
"I think there has never been a time where you allowed me to actually talk to you at all. So I'm going to steal time away from you if you don't mind." he says, his voice drenched with honesty. "What do you want Neil" I say. I see his eyes light up at his name leaving my mouth.
"Well uhmm, I just wanted to say good morning and ask you how you slept."
"Well what are you waiting for, an invite??"
"Good morning, and how did you sleep?" "Morning Neil, I slept okay."
I can see a smirk mixed into his cute, I mean into his smile.
"So you're not going to ask how I slept?"
"Nope."
"Oh well, I'll take what I can."
We continue walking for 5 minutes and neither of us says a word and its a bit awkward. I prefer listening to him talk, the way his words just roll off his tongue without sounding cold or weird like mine, is a bit comforting.
"I've been a little bit worried about you since .. And I just really need to know if you're fine."
I was hoping that he wouldn't mention that and I tried by all means to avoid giving it even half a thought. I just want to pretend that it didn't happen at all. So I look down and start jumping all the cracks I see on the sidewalk.
"You know there's a scientific name for that feeling of not wanting to step on those cracks. I used to do that too, grew a bit too fond of it."
I decide to keep my words to myself as we walk down the cold street towards the school, Neil senses me distancing myself from him and our "conversation" so he joins me in the jumping of the cracks.
After a while the school into view and Neil's company which I dreaded not so long ago is the very thing I seek my comfort in now.
He probably doesn't want to be seen near me so anytime from now I'm expecting him to make an excuse to leave my side and save himself from the embarrassment.
"Isn't this where you go your own way?" I ask hoping to save him the trouble of coming up with a valid excuse.
"I was hoping to walk you to your locker but that's only if you don't mind of cause."
Oh. That is certainly not the answer I was expecting to hear.
"I don't mind its just that .."
"Don't worry, I've got you" he cuts me off.
My heart does something it has never done before, it feels as if it stops being and does a weird dance before it continues beating again. I smile, a real smile, something I haven't done in ages.
Neil also notices the sprawl on my face and his face lights up a bit.
As we walk through the crowded hallway no one says anything directly at me as they usually do but I'm pretty sure of the fact that their thoughts are poisonous.
Glares from all faces that notice us walk by.
"If looks could kill." I whisper to Neil and he chuckles and whispers back "Then everyone in this hallway would be lying on the floor. Dead." We look at each before bursting into laughter. I like his sense of humor.
"I like your sense of humor" I compliment.
"It likes you too!" He grins.
"Thanks for letting me walk you here. It was cool."
"Don't get too used to it."
"I'm not giving this up! Never!" He half shouts clenching his fist dramatically.
"You're crazy, go enjoy the rest of your day."
"I will and you do the same."
"Okay, bye then"
"See ya after school Ivy"
And with those words he melts into the crowd and I'm left to look for the day's books.
For the first time in a long time, in actually looking forward to my day.
With a smile I can't wipe off my face.
YOU ARE READING
Does My existance matter
Ficção Adolescente"What exists after Death?", I asked myself, the smell of death had become more and more apparent with each day that had come and gone within one breath. "Whatever it is, it can't be worse than living" I answered myself. I knew however that I had ans...
