In Search.

13. Zak's POV.

I was disrupted by Billy telling me this Ray chick has shown up, I had no idea who she was or what she had. Jeff told me I needed to meet up with her and that the information she had would blow me away. I was talking to Veronica, she was a good friend. She was there when I needed sex and when I needed other things, I've been in love once and that fucked me up so I try and stay away from relationships. "Dude come on!" Billy was in my face again, I hung up from Ronnie (Veronica) I walked into my main lounge room and could hear Ray being a smartass. I had walked in at the right moment, as soon as I went to say something I lifted my head. There she stood, Ray was picture perfect. Her long, wavy hair and carelessly flown down her body outlining her figure. She had beautiful green eyes, that green colour that brings hope and life no matter what has happened. We shook hands and I felt comfort, I knew Ray had a gift Ashley hasn't stop mentioning it ever since this meet up was arranged.

Days flew by and Ray was constantly around. There where days we'd get along and days we wouldn't. We are too much alike, this wouldn't work but why can't I stop thinking about her. Hours prior to leaving for our next lockdown I went through my whole collection of books and diaries, I dribbled across my old diary where I write about the girls I sleep with, I know it's fucked. There was a poem and a photo of who I had met before, I was very alert about my past life and the love I met. There she was, she looked just like Ray. I stared at the photo reminding myself about the love and how she was always right beside me, I remember the day she got shot and nothing saved her. When I think about love I think of her, somehow she's come back. I can't fuck it up with Ray, I have to get her trust and she needs to believe me. Her name was Rosalyn, she too was a gifted woman. It feels like Ray is the descendant of Rosalyn, would I ever find out?

I remember being told to save her, I could hear Ray screaming and barely being able to scream. I stood clear of the fire and freaked out. Someone had come through my equipment and told me to help her, through hearing that voice I knew she was destined for me. I battled through the smoke and managed to crawl to her, she was unconscious. As I cradled her out, she was taken from me by paramedics, I was pushed away and tried to fight my way back into hold her. I normally don't pray but I was praying hard I won't loose her, she woke up and her green eyes sparkled again. I held her tight to me all night and whispered to her how I've known her from a previous life. I kissed her head and went to sleep.

I started to fill in the details to Ray about our previous life together, I could sense her being confused and not understanding and when she wouldn't understand I got mad. I would face up to her and picture myself hurting her. What I had with Ray was toxic and I wasn't prepared to stay apart of it. Ray had mention my possessive spirit has contacted her and led her to me but I couldn't see Jerusha doing that, she pushed away everyone so she could have me. When people spoke ill of Jerusha I always got mad, I stormed off on Ray. Who was she to come into my life and pretend she knows everything? Sometimes she doesn't remind me of Rosalyn.

Aaron brought Ray to the next lockdown, I was fuelled with hatred towards her but glad she was there so I could keep an eye on her. We walked through the abandoned hotel together hand in hand, I placed her on top of a dresser and like good old days I made love to Ray. It was passionate, dangerous and full of love. In this moment I realised I wanted to fight for us, you don't always get a chance to relive the past and I was given this gift and I wasn't going to let her slip away from me every again. She held my gaze and looking into her green eyes I saw hope for a new beginning. Her skin felt soft, a slight touch of her sent shocks to my nerves. I could see my past and future in her eyes, I wished Ray would understand what she means to me.

As sunset was upon us and lockdown was near I turned to face Ray who was explaining to me she was ill and couldn't do lockdown. She planted a kiss on me, a kiss that held a thousand thoughts. I promised her I'll see her an hour after dawn, I didn't realise that it was the last time I saw her. There was a note written to me;

"Zak. I can't do this. I need to go back to Paris and continue my life. I don't want to be a burden on your life. I want you to know the way you made love to I had recognised the feeling before. I now understand your past life, with me. We both hold spectacular gifts and yet we clash. Maybe in our past life we where meant to be, I'm sorry. I do love you, I always will. Ray."

And with that Ray was gone.