colors → lrh

9

It only took luke 10 minutes to find a Jewel Osco, insisting we go in. Why, you might ask?

"Please Jessica. I just want to make this bonding trip more delightful." He pleaded well we sat in his car, in the Jewel parking lot.

"How would buying spray paint makes this trip more delightful?" I mocked at him. "They probably don't even have any." Lukes idea of fun was completely different from mine. Being isolated in my room, all alone, just me and my thoughts is fun for me. sometimes it got the best of me but I'm not complaining. I am not about to change that by vandalizing property with paint in a bottle.

"Oh come on Jessica, live a little."

live a little. those three words just made me even more frustrated in this situation. I gripped onto the seatbelt and gritted my teeth with anger, preventing me from releasing it on the  blonde boy that I just properly met. he clearly noticed the fury in my eyes, for he then has the nerve to ask, "what's wrong?"

letting out a long breath, I let go of my tight grip around the seatbelt and turned to luke. "so, tell me."

utterly confused, as he should be, luke curiously tried to read my blank expression, staring back into his gorgeous blue eyes. "what do you mean?"

"I want to know what it's like to live. I mean, I wasn't really wanting you to know right off the bat and I normally don't share my personal thoughts with anyone but you luke hemmings, intern, quite frankly pissed me off." I unbuckle my seatbelt I was just straggling a couple seconds ago, hop out of lukes car and walk to the middle of the deserted parking lot.

he as well got out of his beat up car and tried to follow me but I put my right hand up to signal him to stay where he was. "I'm not done yet intern." he stares at me quietly from a distance, considering I was in the middle of a grocery store parking lot and that he parked not so close to the center.

I take a deep breath yet again and let my arms out wide. "so you see me right? I'm here right? I'm talking, walking, moving, dancing, skipping, right?" luke nods in response as I reenact everything. even though I can barely see him through the darkness of the night, I see his eyes beaming at me.

"do you consider this living, luke? being able to breath, walk, talk, and such? do you think I'm living because I can do most of what a normal human can do? if you do that's not the case." I now start slowing walking towards him, my rant just getting started.

"I may look like a healthy person that's living and that's great. I may look like I'm living on the outside but boy, I'm fucked up on the inside. I'm breathing but I'm not living. I haven't lived in a long time now. so don't you dare tell me to 'live a little,' because I don't even know what or how to live ever again!" by now, I was screaming viciously and in lukes face.

his eyes were wider than ever, just accentuating the blue in them. he seemed stiff as a board, like nothing can knock him down. he was frightened.

"Jessica.. I had no idea pleas-" I cut him off by simply walking toward the entrance of the store.

"Let's just get your stupid spray paint and go."

I haven't updated in 6 months hello !2$:&$:2!3$8 IM BACK NOW THO SINCE ITS SUMMER SO IM V SORRY ANd I've had like no inspiration ??

ha guess I only get it at like 2am right :-)