It's Not Forever *Shikamaru/OC/Gaara* (Book 1) COMPLETE

Chapter 12

    I'm hyperventilating and crying in my bedroom at Gaara's house. My hair is clinging to my face while the rest of me is cold and numb. I raise a hand to my face and brush my hair back and cover my mouth to muffle the crying. I grab my panda from the floor and walk over to the window and open it. The cool night air hits me and I climb out onto the roof. Once I settle on the rooftop, I run the back of my hand over my face to wipe away the tears still spilling over. That was the strangest nightmare I've ever had. I shudder at the thought of the creepy man and pull my knees to my chest. The rest of the village is sleeping, making the once bustling area deathly silent. I notice someone maneuvering from rooftop to rooftop and I recognize the movements belonging to their ANBU forces, either patrolling the area or going on a mission. I hiccup as my breathing returns to normal though I'm still crying. I hate sleeping, why can't I just get one decent attempt at sleeping without some form of nightmare to plague me? With a sigh, I lay back against the roof to stare up at the moon for a while since there aren't any clouds in the sky tonight.
"Can't sleep?" I jolt slightly at the voice next to me, but relax when I realize who it is.
"I never truly sleep, you know that."
"What was it this time?" He asks quietly.
"It was strange, nothing I'd ever dreamt before." I mutter before explaining the dream.
"And you don't recognize the voices of either of the men or anything?"
"The second one's voice sounded familiar but I can't place it. It was probably just some stupid dream that doesn't mean anything. It just shook me up." I shrug.
"There's something else bothering you."
I turn to look at him but he's staring up at the moon.
"What do you mean?"
"You've been lost in thought since Temari talked to you. What did she say?"
"Nosey." I snicker. "She told me that she's glad I seem to make you happy and have made you become more open, that's all. I'm glad to be your friend, I like making people happy."
"But you're not happy." He counters.
"Of course I am. I'm always happy."
"You're lying. It's easy to tell."
"I appear happy to keep others happy. I'd rather see them happy than hurt and if I appear unhappy then I become a burden. It's still part of who I am, being hyperactive and happy, but it's not the dominant feeling; I just use it to fight against the bad thoughts... It gets really hard sometimes..." I trail off, fiddling with the hem of my shirt.
"You're not a burden. Holding it in hurts more. Talk to someone sometime."
"Like you have room to talk, Gaara-kun. You don't talk about your feelings ever." I retort, looking up at him.
"This isn't about me. What bothers you?"
I take a deep breath and sigh. "My families. It's getting close to anniversaries of bad times I'd endured in years past."
"What do you mean?"
"I was abandoned as an infant in front of a compound. I was considered a curse and burden, leading to severe abuse throughout the years until a few days after my fourth birthday, when I tried to run away, but Mother caught me. She slit my arms open all the way up and dragged me out of the compound to die. I was found by criminals and they cared for me for a few months before they too abandoned me. I was taken in by the Leaf and lived with a family until six when my oldest brother murdered everyone but my older brother and left us to die. I lived on the streets starving until eight. All my life I've become a burden and curse on people, causing them to leave me, so by becoming happy I hope to lessen my burden on them..." I finish and look up to realize I'd started silently crying again. I wipe them away and turn to Gaara, who's silent, and find him looking at my arms.
"I learned a jutsu from Haku, the younger of the criminals, that conceals most of the scars. I cover the ones that are too strong to cover with it. Only one person knows what I truly look like."
He nods, obviously trying to find words to say.
"I'm sorry it happened to you, but you're dumb."
My head whips over to face him in shock.
"You shouldn't have held it in so long. Your Leaf friends care about you along with others."
"I couldn't help it. I didn't want to get close to anyone then get abandoned again."
"I never wanted to get close to anyone, some people are worth it."
I scoot over closer to him and lean my head on his shoulder. I feel his arm lift to rest on my shoulder, his hand lightly running through my hair.
"Thank you Gaara, for everything."
I finish wiping away the drying tears as we sit in silence, watching the moon finish rising and start to fade away into morning.
I wake up in my bed in Suna with the sun peeking over the horizon. We're leaving today to start our return to Konoha. The month has flown by, but I'm ready to return home to see my team. My door flies open and Temari dives onto my bed. I maneuver out of the way and wait for her to tell me what she wants.
"We're leaving in an hour! I made breakfast!" She cheers before rolling off my bed and rushing out of the room.
I sigh and rake a hand through my hair. How she can be a morning person, I don't know, but it kills me. I push the blankets back and move to the window. I open it and crawl up onto the roof. As I thought, Gaara is still sitting there watching the sky.
"Gaara-kun, we're leaving in an hour, go eat."
He nods and I return to my room. I grab a pile of clothes and move into the bathroom to dress. I come back out with my hair in a messy ponytail, and dressed in a pair of dark grey shorts and a light blue t-shirt. I put my normal accessories on, along with my packed backpack, and head downstairs following the scent of food.
Kankuro is the only one in the kitchen when I arrive. He looks up at me and glares while I roll my eyes, choosing to ignore him. I make up a plate of food and pour a cup of coffee before taking a seat far away from him at the large oak table. Seriously, this table is abnormally large for such a small family. We eat in silence, his glare still fixed on me, slowly aggravating me until I have to turn my headphones on to calm myself. It doesn't work, but I push the anger back further and further until a knife comes toward me. I lean back slightly and watch it whiz past me, embedding itself in the wall behind me. I turn off my headphones and look up at him calmly.
"Was that really necessary?" I ask.
"You're worthless and no one likes you. I heard you and Gaara talking the other night. Oh poor you for having it rough, maybe your mother should've killed you back then, you deserve it. Temari pities you and to Gaara you're just a toy. He's an emotionless freak that feels nothing for anyone, not even you." He spits.
"Like I trust words from a man who attacked me and hates me because he was stopped before he could get what he wanted?"
"Have you noticed Gaara doesn't talk to anyone? That he's always so cold? It's because he doesn't care. He stopped me because I tried to touch his toy. You're just an object to him. He's using you, making you trust him so it'll be more fun for him to kill you when he's done."
"You're lying." I bite out, hearing the venom in my voice.
"I could kill you right now and no one would care." He threatens.
"Shut up."
"You're a worthless piece of sh-"
"I said shut up!" I jump up from the chair and in an instant am at his throat, pinning him to the wall.
"All I have to do is just think one jutsu and the soundwaves will crush your throat. Give me a reason not to you little worm." I seethe.
He tries to talk, but fails, instead attempts to pry away my hands. I squeeze tighter in response.
"Tell me again I'm worthless. Open your sorry mouth again or threaten me, or even come near me again and I will tear you limb from limb without a second thought."
I drop him and pick up my backpack. As I start to walk out I hear him call out.
"You're a filthy monster just like him!"
I pause for a moment before continuing on my path. I storm out the front door and into the street.
I make it a few steps before hearing Temari rushing outside after me. She calls my name and I continue walking faster. She catches up and holds out her arm to stop me. I sigh and stop but avoid her eyes as she asks what I'm doing.
"I'm going home Temari."
"We're leaving in a minute, why didn't you wait?" She finally notices my mood change and her tone softens. "What happened?"
"Nothing. I just thought I'd get a head start."
"You're lying. You're bottling up something. Nothing will be better if you don't open up."
I hear the door open and see Gaara coming out followed by Kankuro and Baki. Kankuro smirks at me and I lose it. I push Temari out of the way and stalk over to him, pulling kunai from my pouches along the way.
"I've had it with you and your bullshit! I'm sick of it! Give me three good reasons I shouldn't tear your throat out right here, right now!"
"You wouldn't dare."
"That's where you're wrong. You don't know me. I'm a 'monster', remember?"
I lunge at him and feel sand wrap around me, causing me to drop the blades. Gaara pulls me away from Kankuro despite my struggles while Baki pulls Kankuro away from us. Once Gaara releases me I try again, but he grabs my arm lightly and forces me to stay. Temari comes over to stand on my other side and asks what happened.
With a sigh, I calm down enough for Gaara to release me and I relay what had happened in the kitchen while they were busy. I can feel the anger pouring off of Gaara, directed at Kankuro of course. Temari hugs me and shoots a glare his way as well. Baki is yelling at him though I can tell he has no idea what happened beyond what he'd seen outside. Temari goes over to her sensei and whispers in his ear, causing Baki to beat Kankuro, much to my delight. Temari, Gaara, and I lead the way out of the village with Baki and Kankuro following behind. The sun still hasn't fully risen, but the sun is showing halfway now, casting the desert in a fiery glow. I know Kankuro is an idiot and I shouldn't listen to his words, but they still struck a chord. I push it back and instead put on a smile, then jump on Temari's back.
"Onward noble steed! How long has it been?"
"Ten minutes."
"How long is our trip?"
"Two days."
"That's forever! Gaara-kun! I demand you carry me all the way there!" I yell, pointing at him.
"No." He replies.
"You're so mean!" I pout before jumping down from Temari's back and continue walking.

:f