It's Not Forever *Shikamaru/OC/Gaara* (Book 1) COMPLETE

Chapter 13

    We arrive at Konoha's gates two days later and I cheer. I run through the open gates and see Ino waiting for me. She screams and we run to each other. She catches me when I jump into her arms and wraps me in a spinning hug. When she sets me down I kiss her cheek.
"I missed you so much! You have to fill me in on everything!" Ino yells, still hugging me.
"Ino! Yelling. It's so early... Why are you awake this early?"
"I knew you were coming today so I woke up early to greet you!"
Ino is practically exploding with excitement right now, bouncing on the heels of her feet. I can tell she's dying to drag me away to my house to hear about everything that happened over the month. I turn back to Gaara and Temari to tell them they're welcome over anytime and thank Baki before hugging the latter and getting dragged away.
I unlock the door and get pushed inside. While I'm unpacking, she bounces up and down on my bed demanding details. I roll my eyes and ignore her to go take a shower. Being on the move for two days is not good for your hygiene. I lock the door and strip down, enjoying being home and showering in my own apartment for once. I get out after I'm clean and dress in a simple white sundress. Might as well be girly before I rip someone's head off tomorrow. I tie my forehead protector as an actual headband, like how Sakura wears hers, for once, and put my headphones in their usual spot around my neck. I situate my mask and leave my hair down straight before coming back out. Ino gushes over how adorable I look and how much Shikamaru and Gaara would 'absolutely drool' over me. I roll my eyes and she makes me sit down to tell her what happened. I sigh and lay back, retelling the major events; training with Gaara, fighting with Kankuro, talking with Temari (minus the family part), etc. She gushes over the training and any other moment she thought were cute then threatens to murder Kankuro for saying what he did, well the parts I told her about anyway. I show her the negatives for the pictures I'd taken on the trip and she helps me develop them and hang them to dry so I can put them up later. We go out into the kitchen so I can make breakfast as she rambles on about who went where to train and the ones she hadn't seen, including her beloved Sasuke. I flinch at the mention of his name since the memories of the past are resurfacing more and more. A knock on the door draws our attention and I have her open it. She comes back giggling and I have no idea why, I'm not even sure I want to ask. I turn from the stove to tell her to shut up when I see Shikamaru leaning against the doorframe. I abandon the stove and tackle him in a hug.
"I missed you Shika-kun!"
I feel him hug me back and a bigger smile crosses my face. "Ino is horrible when you aren't here."
"So you missed me too?"
"I missed the somewhat quiet that I get when you're around."
"I told you, complaining is not telling me how you feel Shikamaru." I pout, then release him and turn back to the stove. "Do you want breakfast? I'm making pancakes."
"I suppose."
He takes a seat at the table and I can hear Ino making comments about how cute we are and how he should ask me out before Gaara 'swoops in' to take me away. I roll my eyes and finish cooking. I pass out drinks and the plates of food before sitting down next to Shikamaru.
"So why are you up so early Shika-kun?" I ask between bites.
"Someone invaded my sleep so she could yell until I woke up that my 'true love' was back and to come see you." He says, shooting glares at Ino who just winks and smiles at me.
"I really hate that you can do that Ino." I tell her before thumping her in the forehead.
Shikamaru and I do the dishes together after we all eat, then Ino mysteriously has to go somewhere for a little while, leaving us alone. He sits on the couch in his usual spot and I lay my head on the arm of the couch next to him and stretch my legs out across the remainder.
"How was Suna?"
"Hot. Full of sand. It's very desert-y. It was fun though. I fought against Gaara a few times and won, I got to explore the village and meet new people. Also, I ended up confiding in Gaara about most of my past, he hasn't seen the scars and I didn't go into detail. The last day was the worst part though."
"What happened?" He asks, looking down at me.
"Well..." I start, then explain what had happened between Kankuro and I, fully this time instead of the chopped version I'd given Ino.
"Don't take anything he says into consideration. He's wrong. You mean a lot to a lot of people."
"Thank you Shikamaru."
The rest of the day passes by rather quickly, having spent all of it with Shikamaru. Temari stopped by at one point to tell me that they'd be training all day under Baki's orders and that they'd see me tomorrow. Ino surprisingly stayed gone for the day, which I was silently grateful for. She's rather exhausting for the most part. Shikamaru and I spent the day inside, talking and relaxing for the most part. He helped me hang the pictures Ino and I developed so my new wall looks a bit more filled. It's late now and I know his mother will probably scold him for being out when he has to wake up early tomorrow, so I tell him he should go home.
"I'd hear about it even if I came home early. She's so annoying." He mutters.
"I know Shika-kun, I know."
I pull him into a hug and I can smell his cologne and a hint of grass, like always.
"Thank you again, for everything."
"I haven't done anything special to be thanked for."
"Yes you have. You understood, you didn't leave me, and you saved my life."
"Only an idiot wouldn't understand, I didn't want you to die, and I'd never leave you."
"Ino would have a field day if she heard you." I say with a small smile on my face. "And you're sweet when you actually speak your feelings, you should do it more often."
"I'll take that into consideration." He says, smirking slightly. It looks good on him.
"You coming over in the morning before the exam?"
"Only if you're cooking. My mother's cooking is terrible."
"I always do. I'll see you in the morning Shika-kun. Goodnight."
"Goodnight Kaida."
I stand up on my tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek and he smiles and kisses my forehead in return, causing me to blush.
After he leaves, I lock the door before going into my room to change into pajamas. I come back into the living room to examine the new wall again, then at the older one. I see all the memories plastered on the walls, all the times I was smiling genuinely and a thought pushes into my mind. I'm tired of hiding behind a jutsu, pretending to be what I'm not. I don't care what people will think of my scars anymore. I take a deep breath and clear the negative thoughts trying to take over. If people can't accept me, it's their problem. I go into the bathroom and remove the jutsu. I look down at my fingers to find all the scars slowly reappearing, and I know that even the ones I can't see are there now. I look into the mirror and slide the mask down, causing tears to spring to my eyes and I can't fight them anymore. I need to accept reality... I lay down on my bed and let all of the emotions I've been holding inside come out.
I roll over in bed and reach out for my panda to snuggle it closer. I latch onto a pillow instead and wiggle closer to it and lay my head on it. My panda must've fallen in the floor. My pillow smells like Shikamaru's been laying on it since it smells like grass and cologne.
"Shika-kun." I mutter, feeling myself grin.
"What?" I hear in response.
I shoot up in bed with my eyes wide open and turn to find him stretched out on my bed.
"G'morning Shika, why are you in my bed?" I mumble.
"You weren't awake and I got tired. Your bed is more comfortable than the couch, so I laid down."
"Ah, makes sense. How much longer until the exam?"
"Three hours. I woke up early and decided to come here instead of listening to my mother complain."
"Hm, I see. I'm going back to sleep. Goodnight." I yawn and lay back down.
I hear him chuckle and he tells me that if I sleep now I won't want to wake up to cook before the fights and that I 'know how I get without food'.
"You're just hungry and too lazy to cook for yourself and don't want to wait."
"That is a possibility."
"Can we please sleep for another hour? I promise we will have breakfast after."
"I suppose."
I sigh and lay my head back on his chest before falling asleep again.
What feels like only a few minutes later, I wake up again to find it really has been an hour, and find him asleep in the same place. I crawl out of bed and over to the dresser. I pull out a light green tank top and a pair of black shorts before disappearing into the bathroom. When I turn on the light I sigh at the sight of the scars. I remember that I'd removed the jutsu last night, but I'm used to seeing it every morning. The jutsu wears off after 24 hours, so I have to reinstate it each day. I just refused to look at myself until the concealment was back. It was dark in my room and I was underneath the blanket so Shikamaru hadn't seen that they were revealed. I resist the urge to perform the jutsu and step into the shower. When I get out I dress and braid my bangs back around my head and pull all of it into a ponytail. I put on my accessories and take a deep breath before coming back out.
Shikamaru is awake now, staring at the photos on the mirror with a strange look on his face. I ask him what's wrong and he turns to me.
"Why would someone do that to their child?" He mutters.
"Because they're awful people. You ready for breakfast?"
He turns away from the pictures and follows me out into the kitchen. It's still too dark outside to really see, so I turn on the kitchen light as I enter.
"What do you want to eat?"
"Uhm-Kaida, your scars are showing."
"I know. I decided that I needed to stop hiding from my past. Do they look bad? I understand if-"
"They show what you've been through. They don't look bad, they just took me off guard because I'd only seen them briefly once. I told you last night that I'm not going anywhere."
"Why are you actually speaking feelings now? I'm still used to 'I'm Shika-kun, troublesome, bleh bleh bleh, drag'."
"I'm still fairly sure that I've never called myself Shika-kun and I don't say 'bleh bleh bleh'."
"You didn't answer my question." I start getting out ingredients to make eggs and bacon while I wait for his response.
"You were honest with me, so why not be honest with you? Besides, you told me last night that I should do it more often."
"I'll take that answer for now."
I flip the food before moving to the coffee pot. He shoo's me away from the stove when I try to return to cooking and finishes them for me. I pour two cups of coffee and set the table before sitting down in my normal spot. He brings the food over and serves it before sitting down to my right. As we eat, I notice him staring at me with an odd expression. I look up at him with my eyebrow raised until he speaks.
"What happened to your wrists?"
I look down at them to find several thin white lines on both sides.
"I don't know." I mutter.
"You're lying."
"I couldn't take it anymore." I sigh.
"Take what?"
"Everything. It happened in Suna; I heal fairly quickly so they had scarred over within a week, in the meantime I just wore long sleeves and then the jutsu covered them." I explain quietly.
"Why couldn't you just talk to someone about it instead of hurting yourself?"
"I didn't want to be a burden. I'll be alright."
We finish our food in silence and wash the dishes afterward. When I move to walk away, he pulls me into a hug.
"I don't want you to hurt yourself anymore. If you ever feel the urge, come talk to me, please."
"I will, thank you."
He follows me into the bedroom where I'm loading up my various pouches and sharpening any weapons that have dulled. His eyes are on the pictures again before he asks me about one with myself and a boy and a man.
"That's Haku and MooMoo-chan. They were the criminals I'd stayed with. MooMoo was Zabuza Momochi, but I couldn't pronounce his name at the time. That was a few months after I'd been with them." I explain, looking up at the photo.
"When you disappeared for three weeks, Sakura's team went on a mission to the Mist. Along the way they were attacked by a man and young boy, and the two were killed. I heard Kakashi and Asuma talk about it, they mentioned the name Momochi."
"Oh, I see... Atleast they're in a better place now. I always had a feeling Haku would sacrifice himself to protect Zabuza. I'm sure they went down fighting."
"I'm sure they did."
I pull a pair of light green thigh highs from my dresser and put them on before tucking my sticks into the left side with my protector on the right. I look up at the picture finally and remember that day.
A five year old me is standing on a bridge smiling, though bandages are covering both arms all the way up and another on my cheek. Eight year old Haku is next to me with his mask tied to the side of his head with his arm over my shoulder. MooMoo-chan is standing behind us with his hands resting on our heads. A nice man took the picture for me, upon my insistence to MooMoo about wanting a picture of us. I guess the man didn't realize who Zabuza was or was too afraid to deny the order. It was the first real gift I'd ever gotten. I pull it from the mirror and set it on the dresser before looking up at the others of the Hattori clan. I pull them down and put them into one hand. I focus my energy into the hand to create a soundwave that tears them to shreds. I dump the remains into the trash can and take the one picture into the living room. I hear Shikamaru following me and walk straight over to the new wall. I stand on the back of the love seat and put the picture up in the center of the wall, away from the pictures above it. Satisfied, I climb down and turn to see Shikamaru behind me looking at the pictures. He smiles lightly at it, then asks if I'm ready to go. I nod and feel a smile come onto my face.
"Let's do this!" I cheer, pumping my fist into the air.
"I swear you sound like Naruto sometimes." He mutters as we walk out.
I hear screaming and turn to see Naruto running down the road away from Sakura.
"No, that's what Naruto sounds like."

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