this is the dirty truth.

32

I'm just too unmotivated to love you the way I want to, and the way you should be loved. I am a cynic, an unconcerned and selfish bastard with so much love and care for your multi-colored soul. I deserve to be alone, I was born to live and die alone fore I will never be ready to put effort into someone else's existence. It's not due to the assumption that I can't care. It's because I will never call you when I know I need to talk to you. You will message me Thursday asking if you could talk to me and I'll tell you that I'll call in an hour or so. Then three days will pass by and in the back of my mind, I know I care and I'm concerned about what's wrong, but I can't call back. Please understand that I love you, but I can't find it in myself to show you. Please understand that I will always be there for you, but I can't find it in myself to ask what's wrong. Please understand that you will never understand how my mind works, but one day you think you will and that still won't be enough to convince yourself that I am not an asshole.