this is the dirty truth.

91

You want me to trust you, but I just can't. You want me to come to you when things are bad, but I just can't. None of this is because you're untrustworthy, you are the only person I'd ever dare to trust. I just can't. I have closed myself off for a long time and then you decided to come into my life and make me feel important and that is so fucking scary. I am scared of the fact that you actually care and usually when someone shows any signs of emotion with me, I run but you grabbed me by the arm and continue to hold me back from leaving. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. I still hesitate to call you when I am crying. Last night, it took me a good half hour before I dialed your number, but I still hung up on the first ring. I'm trying and you're trying to understand what my idea of trying is when you shouldn't have to.