The Remains Of Me

Chapter 2: Grieving Process And The Baby

Depression. Everyone at some point has felt it. The longing sadness and the feeling of being lost. Not knowing where you stand in the world. My mother fell into a deep depression. Losing all self hope. All her happiest flew away like a bird going south for winter, yet this bird was never coming back. It had been 6 months since my father left. 6 months of on going pain and suffering. She still kept his things. In a box on her bed where he used to sleep.. She'd pretend it was him. She would go into her room and lay on her bed and talk as if he was still there. At night she take his favorite sweater and hold it as if it were him. She'd whisper I love you between her silent cries. She couldn't let go. No matter what she tried. No matter what she did. He was there, stuck in her mind. As long as she loved him, he was never going to leave.
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2 months later, my mother was still depressed but she was slowly getting through it. She was learning to cope with what had happened. She was starting to move on. Which was great for the both of us. Her sister and well my aunt to-be, helped her through it all. Thanks to her I'm healthy as can be. With only a month or so to go I'd be ready to come out any day. My mother was so happy to be having me. She found out not to long ago that I was a girl. It brought tears to her eyes knowing she'd have a baby girl. Yet, it killed her on the inside knowing I'd be a small reminder of my father. She wanted to get passed it but a small part of her let it get to her from time to time. That small reminder always bringing up the memories they had together. Hopefully when I'm around she forgets him completely. Making our life's that much simpler.

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Exactly 4 weeks later I was given life. I took my first breathe, opened my big, blue eyes, and gave a smile to the world. Everyone adored me, like I was the most precious thing on Earth. When my mother held me for the first time, her smile could brighten a whole room. She seemed so happy, but a second later her smile faded. Her eyes closed and her arms let me go. The nurse caught me before I rolled onto the floor. Doctors rushed into the room and hovered over my mother's lifeless body, but it was to late. My mother died. Her body lost to much blood. She died giving birth to a baby she probably didn't want. A baby that constantly reminded her of the love of her life who she had lost. At least she was at peace, I hope.