The Remains Of Me

Chapter 4: The Forgotten

Darkness. The feeling of being afraid. All alone in a dark room. Your mind. Makes you believe things are there when they aren't. You start to see and hear things. Its all in your head. Fear gets the best of you. One way or another. This time I wasn't imaging it. My heart stopped. I froze like a block of ice. I felt whoever it was lean over to me. It was a man. He tilt his head and whispered to me, "You're going home. Where you belong." I couldn't scream. I couldn't do anything. My body locked itself. His hand still on my mouth, he picked me up. Looked to see if anyone was aware of him. Once the coast was clear, he started to run. He held me close as I cried. I didn't know what to do. I was terrified. He told me that it was okay. I was going home. Where was home? Home wasn't with him. Or maybe it was. I was confused at the thought. My mind was running a hundred miles an hour. I couldn't think straight...

******

After running for a while, we made to his truck. He put me inside and told me it will be alright. I looked away as tears fell down my face. I didn't know what alright was. I just wanted to go home. He got in the driver's seat and started the engine. He pressed the petal and started heading toward town. A few miles down I got the courage to say something. When I went to speak my words didn't come out. It was as if I couldn't say anything. I buried my face into my hands. I rubbed my eyes and wiped the tears. Looking down, I asked him.

"Who are you?"

He chuckled. As if I was supposed to know. He remained silent. Not saying a word to me. Getting upset more than I was I decided that maybe he didn't hear me. So I shouted my question.

"WHO ARE YOU?"

He slammed the breaks. Staring into space for what seemed like hours. I sat there. Crying, shaking and on the verge of throwing up, he turns to me and says,

"That's no way of talking to your father is it?"

He turns back around. Looks down for a second and looks back at me again.

"I didn't mean to scare you princess. Its alright. I promise you. We will be home soon."

Even though I was scared out of my mind his words seemed comforting. My father. My father was at home. With my mom. And my sister and brother. Why did he say he was my father? I thought about that question the entire ride. It confused me and made me wonder about my family. As I thought I felt my eyes get heavy. I tried to say awake but couldn't manage too. I slumped to the side of the truck and fell asleep.

******
I awoke to the sound of the man's voice.

"Come on, time to wake up sweet pea."

I opened my eyes. Still feeling heavy. I felt drowsy and weak. I looked at him and felt myself falling back into a slumber. He touched my face. His cold hands woke me up and made me alert. I looked into his deep, green eyes as they stared into mine.
I didn't really look at him until now. His dark, brown hair was almost as long as mine. His scraggly beard was a lighter brown and kept trimmed. He smiled at me. His smile reminded me of a light. Very bright and yellow. Wasn't the prettiest smile but it was nice. He picked me up and put me on his shoulder. Walking toward this small house, he opened the door.

"This is your new home. Where you've always belonged."

He gently put me down. I walked a bit and looked around. There was an old couch with stains and tears. A small TV across from it and a little table with some silverware and plates. From the looks of it he doesn't clean much. He went the couch and motioned me to come sit with him. I slowly walked toward him and sat down. The couch was uncomfortable. I could feel the springs on my behind. He sighed and smiled at me again. He reached into his pocket for his wallet. Upon opening it, he took out a picture. He handed it to me. It was a couple. Him and some woman. I looked up and he spoke to me,

"That picture was taken 5 years ago. 2 months before I found out she was pregnant. Pregnant with you. That's your mother and I . I left her when she needed me most. I was scared of becoming a father. I was scared I'd disappoint you both."

Tears trickled down his face as he spoke to me. Wiping away the sadness, he continued,

"The reason your mother isn't here is because.. She died giving birth to you. I found out and I hated myself for leaving you behind. Without a father. Your " mother and father" now is your Aunt Luci and Uncle Rod. They raised you as their own. Because I wasn't a great father. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me. I loved your mother as much as I love you. If I could go back in time I would. I'd do it all over again. But I can't. I can't do that but I have you now and that's all that matters. I have you in my life."

He laughed happily even though tears were flowing down his face. I looked at the picture. I saw my mothers smile. She looked so happy. Then it hit me. He was telling the truth. I remembered my mothers smile. When she held me for the first time. I felt myself crying. I gave my father the picture back. He looked at me crying his heart out. I got up and gave him a hug. I leaned to his ear and whispered,

"I remember."