Pretend Like I Don't Entice You (Alan Ashby)

Last Chance?

*Alan's POV*

I sat there quietly trying not to wake up Holden watching how peaceful he looked while sleeping. Karliah was sleeping in the bed but I couldn't sleep. The excitement kept me awake all night and I made sure to hold him every time he cried so Karliah would catch up on her sleep. "Alan?" Karliah sleepily mumbled. "Yeah?" I said quietly looking in her direction. Her hair was all messy and her eyes were only partially open but I think she looks perfect. "Why'd you let me sleep so long?" She asked quietly. "You needed it." I shrugged glancing at Holden, he has her eyes so far. "He has your hair." Karliah said softly with a small smile.

"He does doesn't he?" I smirked standing up to fully look at him. "You want to hold him?" I smiled noticing that he was awake now. "Yes please." Karliah sat up and looked like a little kid on Christmas. I handed her Holden and sat at the edge of the bed. "Vic is getting your clothes and Mike is at the cafeteria with your parents and Amelia." I filled her in. "Do you mind calling them up here?" She asked not taking her eyes off Holden. "I'll go get them." I said getting up. I kissed Holden's cheek and Karliah's forehead.

**A year later, Alan's POV**

Pretending to sleep to get your child to sleep, what I do every night. "See, Daddy's sleeping." Karliah said softly. I sneakily opened my left eye partially and watched what Holden was doing. He made a pouty face but laid down and let Karliah tuck him in. "Goodnight kisses?" She asked with a smile making me smile. Holden nodded and she gracefully kissed both his cheeks and forehead. "Wake up." Karliah winked and giggled as she pretended to wake me up. I sat up and yawned. "Morning already?" I asked looking at Holden. He smiled and shook his head no and reached his arms out. "Ohh." I smiled giving each cheek a kiss. "Sleep well." I said standing up. Karliah turned on the nightlight and left the room quietly with me hot on her tail. I shut the door quietly behind me and leaned on the wall. "Karliah." I said quietly. "Hm?" She mumbled pulling her hair out of a ponytail. We've been living together for a year now and honestly it's driving me crazy how much I want her. "Fuck it." I said walking up to her. "What?" She asked furrowing her eyebrows. I put my hands on each side of her face and let our lips collide. I moved from her lips down her neck making her moan quietly. Her hands ran down my chest and yanked my belt undone. I picked her up and carried her to the kitchen counter and pulled her pants and underwear down. I went back to kissing her and slowly slid myself in.

***

No words were said once we both finished and I made sure she finished. We just put our clothes on and went straight to bed. It kind of hurt how far we've grown apart but we're still closer than ever(on some things)

*Karliah's POV*

Why is the morning after so awkward? I caught Alan starring at me but he still didn't say anything. I was now home alone since Alan was at the studio recording. He took a small break to help out with Holden and I'm more than thankful for it but I also want him to still live his dream. I looked down at Holden sleeping in my lap sucking his thumb, he still has Alan's ginger hair but he has my ears and eyes. The rest is Alan but I'm okay with that. The phone starting ringing so I picked up Holden and set him down in his crib lightly and answered the phone. I was glad to see it was Amelia.

"I love you okay." Was the first thing Amelia said. She sounded kinda sad but relieved in a way.

"I love you too, what's up?" I asked. I know since Holden was born I haven't seen her since the hospital and I feel guilty, it slipped my mind.

"When are you coming back to San Diego?" Amelia asked.

"I have no clue, is there an emergency?" I asked sitting back down on the couch.

"No, everyone just misses you like crazy." Amelia sighed.

"I'll talk to Alan, see if we can work out a plan with Holden so I can come home for a bit." Holden sleepily picked his head up at the mention of his name but let it fall down.

"Good cause I need some girl time. I'm constantly around boys, I need estrogen. I'm sick of all this testosterone." I couldn't help but laugh.

"I could use some estrogen too but speaking of testosterone.. Alan and I hooked up last night but we haven't spoken about it so now there's this awkward tension and thank god for birth control." I was a little worried to hear Amelia's reply.

"You're shitting me. No way." Amelia laughed but when I didn't say anything she took a deep breath. "Honestly just be careful Karliah. I love you and I love Alan, don't get me wrong but you and Alan together never ends well." I let out a sigh and took in her words. They were true.

"True, thanks for the advice. I'm gonna go see Alan at the studio though, see when I can come to San Diego." I stood up and ventured to my room and grabbed my purse and keys.

"Okay, text me with news please." Amelia said happily.

"You got it. Talk to you soon bye." I hung up after Amelia said bye and woke up Holden who just fell back asleep in my arms. He was up sick all night so I don't blame him for just wanting to rest but I have a feeling that it's going to be an all nighter again.

I pulled up to the studio and saw everyone's car and I got excited. It's been a long time since I've seen them all and I can't wait to hear their new music. I opened the door and walked in quietly only gaining the attention of Alan.

"We were just talking about you." He smiled immediately getting up to take Holden from me. "He's still warm." He said with a frown. "It's going to be another all nighter again." I said quietly gently moving Holden's hair away from his face. He opened his eyes and frowned and immediately started crying and reached for me. "Holden." I sighed taking him. Alan looked a little hurt but dismissed it. "Lelah." Austin smiled. The moment he spoke Holden stopped crying. "I like his voice too." I said to him making Austin laugh. "He's so big now." Tino said standing up. They knew not to crowd and I was thankful. "Sorry guys, he's sick and a little cranky." I said kissing the top of his head as I began gently swaying to put him back to sleep. "But Alan I need to talk to you." I sighed sitting down. "I need to talk to you as well." Alan said quietly. Austin gave me a small smile and took Holden and gestured Alan and I out of the room.

"You first." I said. "Really what I wanted to say to you last night before I let my hormones take over was that I still love you." Alan looked down and started playing with his hands. "Oh." I said taken back. "Well of course I still love you. You know that." I mumbled not knowing if I would regret those words later on. "Will you give us one last try?" Alan asked. "Are you gonna cheat on me again?" I asked. Alan flinched at the use of cheat but reached in his pocket. "I grew up, I'm not the boy I once was. You deserve a good man and I'll be a good man to you if you let me." Alan said pulling out a ring box. He opened the lid and inside was a promise ring.

"It's beautiful." I said quietly. Definitely a huge step in the right direction. "So you'll give me one last chance?" He asked. "Of course." I let the words fall from my lips. Alan slipped the ring on my finger and gave me a soft kiss. "Thank you thank you thank you." He smiled giving me a kiss between every 'Thank you' making me smile.

"Now what was it you wanted to talk about?" He asked playing with my hand. "I've really been missing home and I want to go visit." I said awkwardly. "When?" Alan asked. "I have no idea. I just don't know about Holden." I sighed. "You go, I'll keep him. You've sacrificed a lot and you do need a break. I want you to go." Alan smiled. "Alan are you sure??" I asked. "Yes." He smiled. I leaned in and gave him a prolonged kiss. "Thank you." I mumbled against his lips. We walked back into the room and all the boys were passed out and Holden was sleeping on Austin's chest. "Oh this is to adorable." I said taking a photo for Instagram. "How long have you guys been here?" I asked. "Since 6am. Not gonna lie, I'm pretty beat too." Alan said scratching the back of his neck. "But we got a lot of work done." He had a huge smile. "And I can't what to hear it, now we just need to wake these boys up."