TRUST (HARRY/ZAYN FANFIC)

24.Chaos

“We’re alone, aren’t we? I mean, is your dad home?”

I couldn’t believe I was about to do this. I knew that after Zayn finds out what happened nothing would ever be the same. But I was left with no choice. I couldn’t lie to him and I couldn’t lie to myself. I did it with Harry. Twice. And it wasn’t a mistake or a weakness of mine. I knew that I wanted to do it as much as Harry did. And keeping that a secret from Zayn would be awful. I couldn’t do that, I am not that kind of person.

“Yes babe, we’re alone” He said and winked, never leaving this beautiful smile of his. He had no clue. Ah, sweet ignorance. In a couple of minutes, though, he wouldn’t be smiling.

“I need to talk to you. Right now.” My head was spinning and my palms were sweaty. I immediately took a seat mostly because I was sure that I would faint.
“Is everything okay babe? You look pale.” His tone was worried and his eyes magnetized mine. He is so beautiful.

“I have to tell you a little story. Okay?” I said trying to look away from his gorgeous face.
“But you have to promise that you’re gonna let me finish. Yeah?” I added.
He didn’t answer, he just nodded. He looked kinda worried. I knew that all kinds of horrible things were going through his mind. But not this one. Not the most horrible thing I could do. Having sex with his brother is probably the worst thing I could have done. And I did it.

“When I moved here I thought it would be awful. My brother had left and I was alone. One day I met Maria and Sevi. We quickly became friends and the whole situation became much more sufferable. Then, I met Harry, we were lab partners. But he seemed distracted all the time. After a while, I met you. You were honestly the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. You still are.”

I was trying to say what I had to. But I couldn’t. I was looking at him the whole time and I was thinking how much I wanted to be with him. But I wanted to be with Harry too, there was no point in denying it any more.

“Anyway, I tried to get close to you. I knew I had to know you. I asked Sevi and Maria about you and they told me about the whole situation between you and Harry. And that was when I felt like I had to help you. Not only because I wanted to be with you but because I know how great it is having a brother to talk to about everything that goes through your mind. I have to admit, I felt like Mother Teresa.”

I was dizzy and my head was spinning. I had to take it out of me, I had to tell him. I wanted to but the words couldn’t leave my mouth. I was afraid of his reaction.

“I was missing Max really much. I thought that helping you two out would help me stop being miserable without my brother. And that actually happened. After you and Harry started talking again I felt relieved. But I still had one problem. I wanted to be with you. And you didn’t seem to feel the same way.”

It was time. I had to say it, trying not to be afraid. It wasn’t easy though, it was like my tongue was tied in a knot. The whole time Zayn didn’t look at me. Not even once. I took a deep breath and I continued.

“Finally, a few weeks ago we kissed. And it was great. Although we had to keep it a secret from Harry and I didn’t know the reason.”

“Why are you saying these things? I’m pretty sure I already know most of them.” He said right when I was about to tell him. He didn’t seem mad which meant that he had no idea about what I had to tell him.

At that point I stopped talking. I pushed myself to tell him but I couldn’t. We both stood there silent. Zayn didn’t know what to say and even though I did know what I had to say I couldn’t.

I took a deep breath. “I had sex with Harry!” I said in a brisk tone. I looked at him even though I was extremely afraid that he would hurt me.