Double life

Chapter 12

It's been a week since the night, Jack and I kissed. 

Since the day we spent together, we have been sneaking around and it was nothing but truly amazing. We were acting like a real couple even though we both knew it was wrong. Although we were very much aware of the risk we were taking by acting so reckless, we kept seeing each other every single free moment we had. It helped that our dorms were on the same floor, he even spent the night a couple of times because most of the days I was in Uni or went out with Alfie, and Jack was either filming or spending time with Liza.

I couldn't stop thinking about the consequences of what we were doing; I kept beating myself up for the pain that this would cause to both Alfie and Liza. Jack quickly learned how to read me like an open book - which Alfie still couldn't do- and always knew when I was thinking about all those horrible scenarios. Every time I went deep in my negative thoughts, he was taking me in his arms and was telling me everything would be fine for us.

Us. This was what bothered me the most, that we spent just a week like this and there was an "us". I was with Alfie for a month and I still don't feel the connexion between us. Since the very beginning I was only craving to be in Jack's arms and not in bed with my boyfriend. What was wrong with me? And not just with me, but with "us"?

"You got lost in your thoughts again, didn't you?" Jack eyed me carefully and smiled. We were in his room and he was making tea for both of us while I was on his Mac watching his new video.

He wanted my opinion first before uploading it and it made me feel so special that I was the first to see his work. He trusted me, like I trust him.

"Yeah, I do this a lot." I was avoiding his gaze because I was sure that he can see right through me in a matter of seconds. Was he a natural at this or was it just with me?

"Yes, you do. Now come here." He made himself comfortable on his bed and patted the seat next to him. I chuckled at his way of solving problems but made my way to his bed and lied close to him. It was childish to avoid our problems, but somehow he made me believe that we were in this shit together and we would figure it out.

"What do you want to do? We could watch a film but this is getting kind of boring when you do it every night!" I slapped his arm, shooting him a playful glare.

"Ouch, why would you do that?"

"Because you didn't seem bored last night when I kissed you in the middle of the film, you didn't let go of me until the end." I said in a flat tone as he laughed lightly.

"Oh, if we are going to watch all the films like that, I don't mind at all." We both laughed now because we knew it would be more fun.

"We can even have a film marathon!"

"Okay, someone is eager, I see!" I teased him and he just had that look in his eyes, daring me to do as he said. Not even bothering to defend himself, he leaned in and kissed me softly. And just like that, all I could think of was Jack's soft but eager lips on mine, his hands snaking around my waist, us pressed against each other so close as if we were scared that this moment could be taken away. The feeling of our lips moving together felt beautiful and somehow right.

Like almost every morning that week, I was woken up by the f.ucking alarm on his phone and he didn't even budge. It would probably be a mystery for me forever because the song was really annoying and loud but he wouldn't even move a muscle. I reached for the phone and turned it off, when I looked at Jack, I saw him smiling with eyes still closed.