Diary Of A Teenage Player

Fri January 22, 2016

I've sat thinking about how people would like me if I wasn't good looking or crazy as hell. I wonder if anyone would love me...if anyone would wanna be with me. Then I think back to 2014, I wasn't good looking and I wasn't crazy as hell and there was still one girl who stuck by me. I didn't have almost 1K followers on insta. I didn't have that many friends until high school but still Callie stuck by me. She was still willing to love me even though I'm sure she knew my reputation.

I was a stone-cold player and in some ways I still am but still she cares about me. Still she's willing to let me go even though we all know it's not what she wants. That's the Callie I fell for that's the Callie I wanted by my side for the rest of my life. Callie was the most intelligent and generous girl I had ever laid eyes on. No matter what was going on in her life she always put it aside to help her friends. But her heart was what drew me in. She has the biggest heart ive ever seen in someone. When your on her good side she loves you and cares about you more than anyone ever could but when your on her bad side she can look you straight in the eyes and tell you to go fuck yourself with a smile.

That was my Callie. That was my love. That was my every thought, breath and reason to live. When I moved it was like she forgot who she was like everything that mattered started to not matter to her anymore. But I think she's finally found herself again. I'm just sorry it took me turning into a complete asshole again before she finally saw who she was. I won't apologize though because I always have a reason for why I do things and she deserved it. I tried to be kind and let her go but all I asked was we become friends. Then she turns into a complete bitch and tells me there is no "we" anymore. Even though everyone knows at the end of the day we both are thinking about one another.

Callie,

I want you to know that you will always have a place in my heart. I will always be here to protect you and I will always be there when you need me. I know here lately it seems as if I don't care about you but I do. I honestly do and I hope you know that. Just I know who you can be if you want to be and I just wanted you to finally see who that girl is. I hate being an asshole to you but that's just us. You tell me when I'm being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when your being a pain in the ass. Which you are 90% of the time ._. But at the end of the day you are the first girl I fell for. Yes I'm engaged and plan to be married but that doesn't mean I still wouldn't drop everything to make sure your okay. Because I know if youd stop being so damn stubborn you'd admit that you'd do the same. I love you Callie. Infinitely. I'm sorry for being a douche to you.

Sincerely,
Jay Harvey ✌