"knock, knock" i heard a few gentle raps on my door. It must've been Jared because my mom had never come home this early. (5:45) "Yeah, come in!" i said. I was sitting in the middle of my bed with all of my textbooks in a circle around me. i felt somewhat bad about the way I'd treated Jared earlier, so I decided to go ahead and apologize. Without looking up I started,"I'm sorry that--" "No honey, I'm sorry," I heard in my mother's voice. I heard her ramble on about how I'm a responsible child and that I should still consider my actions and so on, but I was too shocked by the fact that it was HER. She was home this early and she was apologizing, to me. I stopped her, "No, mom, it was my fault. I know what your trying to say, and I understand you feel concerned. I'll try to be more careful. We don't have to go through this." She came up to my bed and sat beside me.
That night found us sitting on our living room couch with the Lifetime channel playing. We were both in our pajamas, and I had a big tub of ice-cream in my lap. My mom was telling me about her own highschool years.
She had been a total nerd. Like the kind of girl that I would have never talked to. She pulled out an old yearbook of hers from highschool to show me. She had never been a cheerleader, always the smartest girl. Valedictorian and the whole fruitbasket. She had also been beautiful(atleast that's what I thought) but no one had noticed it. Except for my dad. He was a freshman in the college where my grandfather had taught and my mom was a senior in highschool. Mom fancied herself in love with him, and he told her he loved her, but he got her into his bed, and then, he graduated. He left her alone, in college, and pregnant. It was a pretty depressing story.
Sitting there with that tub of ice-cream in my lap. A splurge I would normally NEVER allow myself. I decided, mom will understand. I spilled everything about the days events to her. Naturally, a little bit was censored. Pssh. I was NOT telling my mom about sex. But otherwise, she seemed to understand.
"That's a really nice boy that you like Ashlyn, keep him around. I remember him from when you were little. Great family too," she said. Huh? Jared-nice? and also he'd moved here in 7th grade. "Umm mom, Jared moved here in 7th grade. "Oh! Not him, Ian."
Ian. Great. my mom think Ian's great. I think Ian's great. This is just great. Except Ian doesn't think i'm great. Fuck. I should go write an FML.
Hmm, and now I have to go to school tommorow. Did I mention I have 5 classes with Ian because we're both taking all AP courses. Whatever. It made me tired thinking about it.
"Well, I better get to bed, mom, this was really fun," I said, meaning it. "Oh yeah, you have school tommorow. Good-night, hon," she said, smiling. I walked up to my room and fell into my bed. I tried to clear my thoughts and fall blissfully asleep. But I couldn't get Ian off of my mind. I imagined running my hands through his hair and kissing him. I pictured him asking me to come to his car after school, instead of Jared. Oh. Jared. umm yeah. I'd forgotten about him. Fretfully, and finally, I fell asleep.
"cuz i'm losing my sight! losing my mind! wish somebody would tell me i'm fine. losi-"
I banged my alarm off. Last Resort was not one of the most pleasant things to awaken to. Especially when that was how you felt. Slowly i got out of bed and got ready. Heading downstairs to grab my daily protein bar. But on our breakfast table I spotted waffles and a glass of orange juice with a note from my mom.
"Love you :)"
Wow. I sat down and gobbled up the waffles. Then, I heard the doorbell ring. I saw Jared at the door, grinning adorably. "You waited for me! I love you," he said. He pulled me into a hug and quickly kissed me. This was turning out to be a wonderful morning. I grabbed my backpack and coat and jumped into Jared's red truck. Off to school.
As usual, we met up with our group, and I couldn't help but wonder who'd said that about Caroline and Jenna. But i tried to push it out of my mind and enjoy the moment. Isaac and Ben had climbed up the tree and were seeing who could hang upside down on a branch the longest. They were both pretty red, but I figured Isaac would probably last longer based on my past experience.
We dispersed as the bell rang. I trudged into Precalc. Ian walked in a few minutes later and took his seat in front of me. My heart skipped as I caught a flash of his cerulean blue eyes. He didn't look at me. Okay, this needed to stop. I wrote "What the hell is wrong with you." and dropped the note down the back of his shirt.
He jumped a little bit. I saw him reach behind his back with his hand and pick up the note. He put it on his desk and opened it. Please answer..pleaseeeee... i screamed to myself. He started writing. My heart started doing cartwheels. It was surprising that a guy could do this to me. Control yourself, Ashlyn! But at that moment he passed back the note, putting it on my knee under my desk. His touch sent sparks flowing down my body. I opened it, "It's complicated." written down in tiny script. "I'm smart, I'm sure I'll get it." I wrote back, dropping it down his shirt again. Answer: "fine, talk to me after school."
