Haikyuu: Apocalypse

CHAPTER EIGHT: TOORU OIKAWA

  Oikawa was peeing in the biggest clump of bushes he'd ever seen in his life.
  He'd only just woken up, saw Kenma and Iwaizumi looking down at him, and announced he'd needed to pee, to which Kenma (in a slightly disgruntled fashion) agreed to show them the biggest patch of bushes that he could hide in to pee.
  Oikawa finished his business and turned to wash his hands, only to remember that there was no tap.
"Do you have some sort of pond where you can wash your hands or something?" he asked, hopefully, while Kenma groaned and shook his head.
"Don't be such a clean freak, Trashikawa," Iwaizumi commented lowly.
"I'm not a clean freak, you're just unhygenic," Oikawa deadpanned.
"I swear, if your leg wasn't injured I would have shoved you into the lake," Iwaizumi sighed, rubbing his temples.
"Stop arguing like a bunch of first-graders," Kenma snapped. "Whining about not being able to wash your hands, while my phone's dying or already dead."
Oikawa and Iwaizumi gave Kenma the most incredulous look they could.
"What?" Kenma raised an eyebrow and scowled. Man, it was ugly. Oikawa felt himself cringe.
"Nothing, nothing..."
"I wonder what's taking Kuroo so long, though," Kenma blinked. "Normally he'd be back by now."
  "Do you think something got him?" Iwaizumi asked, raising an eyebrow. Kenma shook his head.
  "Possible, but not likely. This place is relatively safe compared to-"
  "Kenma!"
  "There he is,"Kenma muttered. Then he lifted his chin and raised his voice.
  "We're here, Kuroo!"
  Oikawa heard more than one set of feet thrumming against the ground.
  "He might not be alone," he commented lowly, feeling his muscles tense. He wasn't eager for another fight, but he would if he had to.
  Kuroo burst through the bushes.
  "Oh, thank the gods! I thought something got you!"
  Kenma was about to make a witty retort before two more faces poked their heads through the leaves.
  "Shoyou?!"
  "Kenma!"
  "Shrimpy?!"
  "The Grand King?!"
  "Nishinoya?!"
  "Iwaizumi?!"
  "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR EYE?"
  "Wait wait wait, what's going on here?!" Iwaizumi burst out, and Oikawa mentally gave his friend a pat on the back for summing up the situation perfectly in a single sentence.
  "You see, these two were attacked by three zombies," Kuroo explained. Noticing Kenma's hackles rise, he added, "Don't worry, we dealt with them."
  "That looks bad,"Kenma commented, peering at Nishinoya's eye. "I think it's gonna take at least a couple of days for it to heal."
  "Iwa-chan, you can do first aid, can't you?" Oikawa prompted, digging his elbow into Iwaizumi's ribs.
  "I can, but-"Iwaizumi returned the hopeful glances of the other four with a cold stare," I don't have supplies right now."
  "Are we going to raid a convenience store again?"Hinata whispered, looking traumatized.
  "No, that's stupid," Kenma rolled his eyes.
  Hinata sighed in relief.
  "We're going to raid a mall."
  Hinata choked on his saliva.
  "How is that any less dangerous?" Nishinoya spluttered, looking stupefied.
  "There are more places to run," Oikawa admitted, "but we'd need to know the layout of the mall first."
  Kenma nodded. "We should send a scouting team."
  "There's only six of us, bro," Kuroo muttered. "And one has one busted leg and another lost an eye."
  Oikawa narrowed his eyes.
  "Are you calling me an invalid?" he spat.
  "I'm just being sensible," Kuroo returned passively, his gaze steely. "You can't run or walk very fast with that screwed up leg of yours, can you?"
  As much as Oikawa hated to admit it, this Kuroo fellow was right. But that didn't mean he had to be treated like trash and get tossed aside.
  "Calm down," Iwaizumi hissed at him, before apologizing to Kuroo. "I'm sorry, he gets this way sometimes."
  I don't need you to apologize for my actions!
  Kuroo cast Oikawa a glance, and commented," If he wants to prove himself to be useful so badly, he can guard our lair."
  Kenma, for some reason, looked absolutely delighted.
  "You're finally calling it a lair, Kuroo!"