Dealing with some stuff (Minishaw)

Ch. 2 - More and more hate

Harry felt like he was stuck. He did not want to make videos when he was feeling bad, but the reason for most off the hate was because he was not uploading as much as his viewers wanted him to, making them say both on youtube and twitter that he was a shit youtuber and why he was even in the Sidemen as he did nothing with them, he got this every day. He often tried to start videos, but his head was just not in the game. He felt so bad about himself. This happened a lot off times, then he would resort to locking himself in the bathroom and slice his skin up with the sharp razorblade that was proving to be a very good friend off his. It would always help him if he was feeling sad about something. 

"Harry, we are going to play who is most likely to, are you with?" Josh asked as he knocked on the door. 

"yeah, sure, I'll get dressed and come down" Harry said as he put on a sweater to cover up his scars. Maybe if he did something with the Sidemen people would lay off the hate about that. He did not hold onto that hope though. Because then when he did something with them the comments just said 

Who is this guy?

 Is he new? 

Why is Harry even in the Sidemen, he does nothing!

They would be so much better without him there! 

Harry knew deep down that it was mainly just banter but it hurt, He felt like he was never good enough and that whatever he would do, he would always find some way to fuck it up. 

After the game was finished Harry actually stayed in the living room and hung out with the guys, making him feel good, sometimes his mood got lifted slightly. That night he actually made a video, just another pack opening but that was something. He had not uploaded at all this week. 

"Maybe people would lay off the hate" he thought to himself as he was editing the video. Before falling back into his own dark thought just minutes later as he knew that the hate would not stop, there were so many haters online nowadays . 

"I wish I had never made a youtube channel" Harry said to himself as he was almost done editing. But the video still got uploaded, even tho he did not feel to great about how it turned out, it was proving to be harder than he thought acting to a camera, making the viewers think that he was happy when he was not.