*Janelle
I sat at a nearby buss stop, I couldn't think. I heard everything! They way he stressed that he didn't hurt her, but I heard the hurt in the voice. It brought tears to my eyes.
I took a deep breath running a hand through my short hair. I felt bad because I promised Riaha that I wouldn't walk a way...and I did, I had to. I felt like I was lied to.
A familiar blue car slowed up beside the car and the window soon rolled down.
"Come on Janelle." Jah's face came into perfect view.
"No." I looked away
"Please it's cold and late." Riaha said from the back seat
"I'm fine the buss will be here, it only take 5 minutes to get to my house. I'm fine thank you." I declined
Jah shook his head at me before rolling up the window and driving off. I took another deep breath touching my back to the cold metal bench. I never in my life felt this torn over a situation that had nothing to do with me...and over someone I don't know that well. I can't be mad at any one but myself just for the simple fact that I'm so.....naive. I should have gotten to know him better before putting all my cards and feeling on the table because now I feel hurt and it's only been about 2 days. Seeing the bright head lights of the buss I stood up dusting my pants off, and proceeded forward to the stopped bus. After paying I found a window seat and watched the city before me that Jah was suppose to tour me around. I closed my eyes and thought long and hard about my next move.
******
Getting off the buss and walking up to the apartment entrance I sighed and walked upstairs, past their apartment and to mine. After fumbling with my keys for a minute or two I finally got in. Throwing my jacket down on the only piece of furniture I have, I went to the kitchen for something to drink. A loud knock on my door scared me and caused me to jump. I grabbed my chest trying to catch my breath, I'm thinking way too much. This situation has too much control over me. I grabbed a napkin wiping up the mess I made quickly tossing it in the trash as I made my way to the door.
"Who is it?" I asked, I thought it come out strong and fern but I know it came out weak and needy. Truth be told I was. My mind set wasn't right.
"Jah." He said
I cleared my throat and looked at the knob before I opened the door to see his distressed face.
"Uh you left your things over my place." He said gripping the back of his neck.
"Oh yeah sorry." I placed my hand to my forehead
"It's cool I can send Riaha to return it." He said
But of course I know that wasn't the reason he was here.
"Come in we need to talk." I finally gathered up some guts
He nodded coming in gazing past me and headed in the living room.
I wasted no time diving into the subject just because ofthe simple fact that I don't have time to waist.
"I shouldn't have left, I feel bad for that so I'm sorry. And secondly I made a promise to that little girl down the hall saying that I wouldn't hurt you...even though you hurt me, but I won't do that." I finished taking a breath of relief
He looked at me before talking "I understand. So you staying because of Riaha?" He asked he seemed hurt
"Jah I will always be there for you...I'm in too deep, but we seriously need to talk. I feel like I don't know you...and that's because I don't." I bit the inside of my cheek
"Well get to know me then, don't walk out." He said
I shook my head quickly "I won't and I'm sorry for doing so I should have let you explain but on my end everything looked bad so I left." I defended myself
"I ain't gonna hurt you Janelle...honestly I mean last night I could have...you know made a move and slept with you, but I didn't because you're way more than another knot in my belt. I wanna really know you, your mind your soul and your body." He said I felt weak in the knees as he confessed his feelings.
I nodded my head "Jasmine is my ex....she going through some things right now and I guess it's easy to pin it on me." He said hanging his head low. But this isn't what I wanted. I don't want him to tell me because he feels like it's him last option, but I want him to tell me because he's comfortable.
"Shh Jah it's fine. Tell me when you're ready." I stood in front of him resting his head on my stomach. His hands found there way around my waist. My fingers wasted no time diving into his waves. He took a deep breath making me look down at him. I kissed his forehead and rubbed his back trying to sooth him.
"I'm really sorry." He mumbled into the fabric of my shirt
"Don't ever scary me like that." I told him
He nodded his head lifting his head from my stomach asking for a kiss. I giggled leaning down to kiss his lips quickly only for him to pull me back and kiss me long.
"What if I told you I wanted you?" He mumbled onto my lips
"What if I wanted you too?" I asked in return
"I mean I want you like no one has had you." He stop kissing me to look at me, I didn't know what he meant so I said nothing.
"I mean I want to make love to your mind and not you body. I want to be the one you call at night before you lay your head down to rest, and the first you call when you open your beautiful eyes. I want you to be back stage at all my shows showing me love, being the first person I see when I'm getting off stage....I wanna see the relationship you built with Riaha to grow. I can see you meeting my pops and the rest of my family. I want you like YOU never gave no one." He spoke. I didn't know what to say...I felt a lost for words
"....I wanna be there when you need me, I wanna brighten your day when you sad. Are you willing to go there with me?" He asked
"Yes Jah youth! I wanna be that girl! I want to be the one and only." I grabbed both sides of his face
"You got it babe." He licked his lips going in to kiss me as I slipped deep into the safe world we were creating.
