the adjustment theory

four

"Tell me about Niall." I used a demanding tone which had come off rude. I didn't mean to come off as a bitch but my nerves pushed me over the edge.

"There is a lot to know about Niall. What do you want to know?" Astrid asked me back focusing on me more this time seeing that I was already aggravated.

"How did we meet?" I narrowed the scope on my questioning. Looking into Astrid's dark brown eyes that contrasted with her short blonde bob.

"Ah! Now that's a good one." She closed her eyes as if to admire the memory of the two of us. "Well you were on your way to the library but dance held you over. The library had closed and while you internally kicked yourself, you heard a boy busking on the street. You walked up to him and listened but little did you know he took a great liking to you. He sang "Thinking Out Loud" which is now your song, don't forget that! Anyway after that the rest was history really. You fell madly in love with him, no one could compare in your mind."

"I didn't make it to the library which means I never met Harry." I sucked in another breath trying to keep myself steady. It crippled me inside to hear that a small event such as missing library hours would take my life in a completely different direction.

"You never met Harry that day in the library because by the time you reached it, the library had closed." She nodded telling me I was on the right track of thought, connecting some of the dots myself.

"Amelia, who are you talking to?" Niall appeared in the doorway holding what looked to be a bundle of blankets.

I stood looking over to see Astrid was absent, ultimately appearing to look like I was indeed insane. Not knowing what to do or say I hurried to come up with something to say.

"No one."

"Who is Harry?" Another question followed that I wasn't prepared to answer. The same lump still present in my throat that was continuing to swell.

"He's no one." I had pointed the gun against myself, shooting it in the same sentence. The effect of my words only causing the bullet to rip apart my own insides.

"You seem to be talking to no one a lot today." Niall picked up on my common answer I had been using. What else was I supposed to say? Did I tell him the truth? He already thought I was insane, hearing me various times today talking to myself.

Not responding to his comment I recoiled on the inside. I felt stupid standing in the big open space of our bedroom with nothing around me. I felt vulnerable to everything.

"Anyway, he's hungry." Niall rocked the baby that was wrapped in a furry textured blanket. Niall looked down keeping a steady rocking pace for the baby that was laying in his arms.

"Okay." I met Niall half way knowing that by Niall's response to the baby's hunger that I was the only one that could satisfy it. Taking the small body into my arms I felt his weight in my arms, looking down to see him sucking on his fist.

He was beautiful and held features that were easily recognizable. From his pink lips to his little nose I knew that these were my features he displayed. His soft silky hair resembling that of Niall's coloring, a blonde that matched his clear crystal blue eyes. Rocking him for comfort I fell in love with the little being that had lived within me for the last nine months. Granted I don't remember any of those months or the ones before that but feeling him in my arms now two emotions surfaced. An intense fear for not knowing what to do and a motherly love that I didn't know I even possessed up until this moment.

"Hey I'm going to call Jason, tell him your not coming into work today." Niall spoke while I kept my eyes on the restless little boy in my arms.

"Okay.." My mind not even on Niall but rather on my son I was seeing for the first time.