the adjustment theory

fifteen

All I knew was that I didn't have the capability of being alone. I couldn't have anymore time to myself to think, time alone would only make things worse. I needed someone real to talk to and in all honesty even though as childish as it sounds I needed someone to hold me. I wanted to be wrapped up in an embrace where I could seek safety from the world.

"Aims!" Parker opened his door to me, scanning my face long enough to know I wasn't okay. I stood with my hair drenched from the rain on his door step with Rory's car seat  keeping him safe from the rain due to the cover. Holding it in my hand I stood looking at Parker with vulnerability etched in my eyes, everything cold and wet on my body from the storm. "What are you doing get in here!"

Parker took the car seat from my hand and coaxed me in putting his hand on my back and lightly bringing me into his warm house. Once entering he set down the car seat and watched me collapse into his arms and start into my chorus of sobs once again. Catching me in his arms he held me tightly as if he was shielding me away from the pain that sunk my chest. My wet clothes transferring to his from the closeness of the two of us, his hand resting on the back of my head.

"I can't breathe!" I sobbed into Parker gasping for air while he did his best to calm me down from the emotional high I was again experiencing.

"Breathe with me Amelia okay? Listen to my voice." He held my wrists that I held up to him. Keeping my eyes focused on his I began to listen to his voice and breathe with him like he had instructed.

"What am I going to do?" My mind found its place back in my anxiety escalating my breathing patterns once again.

"Focus on me. Don't think about anything else Aims." Parker reminded me to which I tried hard to only focus on Parker and my breathing.

Once I had come to a more calmed state Parker got me a one of his t- shirts that fit like a dress on me. In fresh clothing and a warm cup of coffee I sat on the couch with my legs crossed gazing out the window to the pouring rain outside that bounced off the roof. My thoughts were minimal while Parker tended to Rory, helping me out knowing that from the condition I came in was in no way capable of caring for a baby. Once Rory was laying in Parker's arms peacefully he sat next to me on his couch looking at me for a while until asking the question that had been on his mind since he found me on his doorstep.

"What's going on Amelia? You scared the shit out of me." Parker expressed with understanding eyes that craved to know what I held behind my own eyes.

"You promise you will only listen? I know how this is all going to sound but I need you to just listen." My voice was small and weak from the emotional high I had been on earlier, I didn't have it in me to speak any louder then my current volume.

"I promise. I want to help you Aims." Parker pleaded to me still slightly rocking this nephew that looked up at him with wide eyes.

I heaved in a deep breath remembering I needed to do my best not to become too emotional with this story. I had to tell Parker everything and I only hoped that he wouldn't able me as crazy seeing as this was all impossible in real life, things like this were what the movies were made for. Staying steady in my paced speech I began to unravel my tale.

"I know how this is all going to sound and even thinking about saying it out loud now is insane." I closed my eyes stopping my eyes from becoming glassy just thinking about how this will all come out. "I don't even know how to begin so I will start from the beginning, I was having an argument with Harry. Harry was the man I married and I started an argument with him about moving to London because I had a job that I couldn't give up. During the fight I drove out into a storm and was hit by another oncoming car when I tried to U turn to turn back.... I was hit and when I woke up I was here. I had made a wish in my head, I wished that everything could have been different so that I wouldn't have to move away to London. I never thought that a wish like that would come true... I didn't mean it! I didn't mean for it to come true! I woke up in an entirely different life without Harry my wish had come true, everything was different. Astrid is a ghost that follows me around and says she is here to guide me and when I told her I wanted to see Harry again, she advised against it. Being the stubborn person I am I saw him anyway and saw he was with my best friend Astrid from my old life. When I saw him today I could barely breathe because he doesn't know who I am." I did my best to include the important details and spare the ones that had become irrelevant. I also explained the situation with Niall and all that encompassed that.

"Amelia..." He moved his eyes brown eyes down to the floor where I could assume he was thinking on what to even begin to saw regarding this big story I had been hiding from everyone.

"I know this is a lot to take in and you thinking its insane, because it is but you have to believe me." I pleaded with him bring out the truth I had been so afraid of letting people know.

"I believe you it's just..." He furrowed his brow trying to connect all the dots and evidence he had on me to make it all true. My behavior was enough evidence to confirm such an event like this to have taken place.

"Some people have even changed like Arabella. You don't remember this because it ever happened but Arabella has always been rebellious and drug addicted. I know she isn't now because her life has changed, I made her different! Some others personalities have changed because I changed my own life by wishing that everything had been different." I told him of the difference I had spotted in others around me and how because of me the people around me had changed. It wasn't only my life I had changed, I changed the others around for my selfish purpose.

"So then what are you supposed to do?" Parker questioned sighing while running his free hand through is shortly cut brown gel styled hair.

"I have a theory about all of it." I began thinking over this same theory over and over with my free time. "I got here because of my greatest flaw being selfishness, I think this is all a test. If I can overcome my biggest and hardest flaw maybe I can pass the test and it can somehow restart from there. If I can beat myself in this cycle maybe I can fix all of this and go back to the life I want back."

"It makes sense, if you can overcome the thing that got you here in the first place maybe thats your key to get back." Parker understood and agreed that I had good points on how this all was working. He understood my theory I had behind all this and began plotting with me on how I could possibly beat this.

"How are you doing so far? Have you tested the theory out?" Parker stood up once Rory had become restless and on the verge of fussy.

"The biggest mistake I could have made was going to see Harry. I didn't listen to fake Astrid even though she told me to stay away from him. If I cared about him or Niall I wouldn't have gone to see him but because I care more for my needs rather then theirs, I failed." I put a hand on my forehead, letting the few fingers hold my head up from lowering my stare to the floor.

"I don't think it is too late. If you can fix things with Niall and show him you care for him and Rory then for yourself maybe you still have a chance. Not only are you showing Niall that you care for him but you being selfless with Harry because you're letting him live his life and not complicating the relationships he already has." All of this was a lot to swallow then though I knew that he was right. I had to bandage what I had with Niall in order to fix things with Harry.

With Rory still in one of his arms he took his free arm and stood me up. Coming to my full height he pulled me into him letting me bask in the embrace I needed once more, the comfort I had craved from someone who could understand.

"It's going to be hard but I know your strong enough to do it. You the strongest person I know and if you want something enough you will work to have it." He whispered into my ear causing a stray tear to fall from my closed eyes.

I had to do this.

note// Hello my beautiful readers! What do you think about this all so far? What do you think is next for Amelia? Also if you haven't already, I have written a brand new Harry fic called Farfalla! Check it out if you are interested:)