the adjustment theory

seven

The night had run its course while I leaned against the window watching it all. I still couldn't comprehend how one thing lead to another to change my entire life. I was twenty four and already by changing my love interest had made my dream a reality as well as had my first child. How was it that just by adjusting one thing in my life it turns out to be entirely something different? It begged me to think and ask myself if every decision we made was important. Could every decision change your life drastically by what you choose?

I had been drinking lately. Something that I had never done due to my strict diet and exercise, my body needed to be the best it could be for my dancers as well as myself. Harry drank socially but most of the time we didn't have alcohol in the house since it was not needed. I had now been drinking every other night, sipping away my worries. Niall still passed out like always I whipped my head back to down more of the wine I had chosen.

Setting it down next to me I traded it for my phone. I needed someone to talk to even though it was in the late A.M.. The brightness adjusting to the dark lighting I searched my text threads for my mother. It was worth a shot trying to reach out to her, I knew it was late and she was most likely asleep but I needed someone. Someone who wasn't Niall or even Astrid. The real person I seeked was Harry but I knew that my contact to him was dead. I had no information on him anymore, he was somewhere I didn't know.

Amelia: I think I'm drunk.

I typed out feeling the alcohol run through my veins. I knew I was somewhat sober by my feels that still demeaned to be dealt with but I was more then just tipsy.

Mom: You never drink, is everything okay?

Amelia: I don't know. I just don't know what to do anymore. All I do is drink at night, I'm sad and I don't know any other way to fix it.

Mom: Sometimes not everything can be fixed. I don't know what you are going through right now, but just remember that we love you. Niall loves you, there are so many people that love you.

Amelia: I don't let Niall kiss me anymore. I sleep inches away from him. I don't let him touch me very often.... Not because he has done anything wrong but... He isn't him.

Mom: Amelia you can't be thinking like that. I don't know who else you are involved with but you have a baby now. Whatever the issue is you need to figure it out, now is not the time to be messing around with things.

Amelia: it isn't like that! I'm not involved with anyone but Niall. No one understands.

Mom: Amelia it is 2 in the morning. Right now I want you to put down your drink and get into bed. You are drunk and your lack of sleep isn't helping either. We can talk more about this when you are sober.

Sighing deeply, something I had been doing a lot lately to release stress I rubbed my eyes. Fatigue causing them to itch I yawned thinking that in a few hours I would be up already anyway. What was the point in sleep now? With all of these thoughts towering in my mind I found no time to close my eyes. I was hoping that sooner or later the alcohol would help to aid in the sleeping process. Drink by drink maybe it could quite my loud thoughts. My hand wrapped around the top of the bottle grasping it lightly while I let the contents inside work inside of me.

+

I feel my head pound against my skull when two arms lift my body from off the ground. I lose grip on the bottle I had been holding lightly all night, I make small groaning noises from the spinning I was experiencing inside my head. Keeping my eyes in the darkness of behind my eyelids I feel Niall lay me on a padded surface I can I my assume is our bed.

Not bothering to move from my new comforting position Niall's lips landed on my forehead before walking away and closing the door behind him. I didn't dare to open my eyes due to the harsh sunlight that spread throughout the room no doubt. My head was already spinning in the darkness and I didn't want to see the effects of I opened my eyes to the brighter setting. Falling back into a deep sleep my mind drifted into the unconscious with ease. Letting all those thoughts slip away just for awhile longer I fell limp once again into the sleep my body and mind had craved.