the adjustment theory

thirteen

"You're home early, is everything okay?" Arabella stood up from the couch when she saw my tear stained face in the entry way.

Yes I am home earlier than expected, you're free to go." My voice was small and weak from everything that had exploded in my face. I didn't feel like offering an explanation on the matter and only wanted to be alone at this time before I ripped at the seams in front of her.

"Where's Niall?" Arabella came towards me getting a more focused view of my emotional state I displayed clearly between the glassy red eyes and irritated under eyes from wiping away my tears constantly.

"He won't be coming home tonight. I felt your payment on the entry table." I informed her walking slowly to the kitchen seeing the bottles of alcohol in view.

"Amelia! Are you okay? What happened?" Arabella followed me before I turned around and again ordered her to leave quietly in a more hushed tone.

"At least tell me you are okay." Arabella persisted on my well being.

Although I wanted her to leave I lied and responded with a "I'm fine." Even though we both knew that that wasn't the case with evidence from my bloodshot eyes and tired stature.

"You better call me if you need anything. I love you." Arabella wrapped her arms around me before letting go and heading towards the door. Once upon hearing the door shut I broke down then and there sinking into the kitchen tile floor. My mascara again staining my cheeks with the black streaks I no longer cared to tend to.

"This is your fault!" I shouted at the figure that sat next to me with her unforgettable blonde bob.

"You are in no condition to be playing the blame game Amelia."  Astrid shook her head with a level tone of voice.

"It's your fault that she heard us in the bathroom talking about Harry!" I was crippled from the inside in need of some comfort.

"The only person you have to blame is yourself Amelia. You're the one trying to involve yourself in another man's life!"

"Because I'm supposed to be in that man's life! It is supposed to be me!" I cried out feeling the wave of remorse over our relationship hit harder than ever.

"Look at you, the girl crying in her kitchen alone with a thousand dollar dress and everything she could ever want in a man and career. If you don't sort yourself out Amelia that will all be faded dreams and paper memories." Astrid stood up and took a few steps away from my crouched position with the knees pulled in on the floor.

"I don't even know where to start to cleaning up all of this. It's all a big uncleanable mess!" I shook my head putting my face into my lap with my arms closing in around me.

"How about you start with fixing this with Niall. Why don't you try calling him to resolve all of this." Astrid instructed taking a swig of the whatever she had poured herself.

"Why would he even want to talk to me at this point? He thinks I'm seeing someone else." I fired back thinking back to the party that ended in flames.

"Because even though you hurt him, he still loves you more then anything. He loves you more then you know and he deserves to be loved the way he loves you. Now, try calling him. It will show him that you are putting in that effort to fix things." Astrid went to fetch my phone that had resided in my clutch on the entry hall table.

"What can I say that I haven't already said?" I sniffled putting the phone to my ear. Astrid had already dialed up Niall and handed it to me.

"Just tell him you are sorry and want to work on all of this." Astrid suggested shrugging as we both listened to the dial that felt as though it was ringing throughout the entire house.