Irresistable {Gerard Way fanfic}

Chapter 8

It isn't a date. Gerard is my English teacher. He's also too tied up with Ms. Stryder. I still get chills thinking about how they were making out in the nurse's office. Besides, I have Adam. Tonight is not a date, yet I act like it is. I put on my fancy dress with geometric shapes that could be put on a canvas and displayed in an art gallery and I tie my hair into a fancy messy bun. I'm already tallish but I wear black heels to make me a little bit taller.

Downstairs, Mom is with Lewis, laughing and looking at my baby book. I walk down to find her pointing at the picture of 1 year old me with my hands down my diaper and my cheeks turn red with embarrassment.

"She's so silly," Mom says.

"Indeed, and precious," Lewis replies and puts his hand on her waist. As much as I think how cute they would be together, my heart will always be reserved for Dad. How do you replace something that's irreplaceable? That's the question I'll ask my mom someday.

I don't want to interrupt their moment but Gerard texts me and says that he's here. I clear my throat, the classic way of letting someone know you're there in their presence and say, "I forgot to mention it to you but Lexi is here to pick me up and take me out of town to the new Liberty Center mall."

My mom has been real easy going since we moved her and I think it's because she doesn't want me to run away. She already lost Dad and doesn't need to lose me too. "Why didn't you tell me before?" She asks, "I would've given you some money."

"It's fine, I have a few fifties in my wallet," I respond while grabbing my purse and dark blue jacket and leaving the house.

Outside is Gerard's black Charger, parked at the end of the street. I don't want to trip and fall by running so I walk fast to the car. The first thing I notice about him his outfit. Usually, he wears suits and vests and sweaters that make him look more like a teacher, but, tonight, he's wearing his casual clothes, black leather jacket with black skinny ripped jeans and a black button up shirt underneath his jacket that's tucked in. He doesn't look like a teacher at all like this and I find him more attractive.

"Is there something wrong, Helena?" Gerard catches me staring at him.

"Not at all. Just... I can't believe that you're a teacher, are you sure you're a teacher?" I blurt out. I didn't mean to sound flirty but it came out that way and in that moment, I liked it.

He chuckles a little and starts heading Long Beach. It's a 34 minute drive from LA but it's worth it. I ask Gerard a few questions but not many because I want to have something to talk about over dinner.

I end up finding some things about him that I wouldn't have guessed, like his birthday is April 9th, he's terrified of needles, and how he played the role of Peter Pan in his elementary school play.

At dinner I found out even more. Things like how he starred in the "No Cities to Love" music video, how he's allergic to cats (bummer because I love cats), and how we once had a near death experience at age 15 when a gun was held to his head.

The whole time during dinner though, I keep getting the temptation to touch his hand or play with his foot under the table like many couples but we aren't a couple. There were a few times I could've sworn he was flirting with me. I didn't really mind it. We were almost an hour away from the city and it felt nice to not worry much.

The look in Gerard's eye are haunting. Not an evil haunting but the beautiful kind. They focused on mine and held the gaze unlike Adam's wandering eye. Being with Gerard in this moment questioned my whole relationship with Adam. But why? Am I starting to feel something for Gerard? My question was soon answered when we were stuck in traffic on the way back to my house. That's LA for you..

"Did you enjoy dinner, Helena?" He asks.

"Yes, thank you," I keep my eyes on the road looking at the backs of the cars in front of us.

"You seemed a little quiet at times, though. Were you shy?"

Gerard would know I was lying if I said yes. In a way, I'm very outgoing. The only thing I'm shy of is the way I'm feeling for him right now.

"No," I answer.

"What is it?"

"Can I tell you something?" I ask, my eyes still on the cars. 

"Of course," Gerard replies while moving  up more in the traffic.

I don't know what I'm so embarrassed to tell him what I think. I've never felt this way about my own teacher. I didn't want to now but there was no choice. I sigh.

"You just confuse me. There's time when you act like you're into me and then times when you don't even stand to look at me. I feel that I like you in a more kind of way. More than I should. I know that I'm with Adam but he doesn't make me feel the way you do. He makes my heart stop but you make it keep on going. And they're both good feelings. I just don't know if you feel the same or even care about me," my throat closes and my face feels hot like a summer day in July. My eyes even start to water. I just want to kiss him and it be normal.

"Of course I do," He squeezes my thigh, "you're my student."

My heart drops when he mentions the fact that I'm his student and he's my teacher. "I don't want to be 'your student' right now," I finally look at Gerard.

Our faces locked. It's dark outside but he still manages the tears running down my eyes. And with that, he holds my head in his hands and leans in to kiss me.  I kiss back with my hands on his cheeks as well and our lips lock together for a few seconds until we need to get some air. The quietness that follows after indicates that things our awkward but the next moment, he smiles and I return the smile back.

There is no longer traffic going on. Even the one in my head. It was the most passionate kiss ever.

*****
I wanted Gerard to come inside the house but Mom and Lewis are home. Instead, we just end the night in another kiss while we hold each other.

When I got inside, I caught Mom and Lewis kissing as well. The happiness and love that filled inside of me was flushed out by anger and disappointment.

"Mom!" I yell to get their attention. They pull back from their make out session and stare at me, shocked. "How could you?!"

"Helena, please," Mom makes her way towards me.

"No I don't want to hear it," I run up the stairs and turn back at her and Lewis on the last step and say, "I thought you loved Dad."

Slamming the door behind me, I begin to cry. Not because Mom was happy but because it wasn't with Dad. He will always be my dad, dead or alive.

My phone rings and it's a message from Gerard:

I had a great night with you Helena, hope to do it again soon. X -Gerard.

I don't respond. I'm too upset to. I just go to bed and hope that it was all just a dream. Except for the part where Gerard and I kissed.