She

Wait...What?

"Okay wait...run that by me again," Mike requested, now pacing Billie Joe's living room.

After having Billie Joe practically break his door down to tell him the news of her return, he just had to see it for himself. A part of him believed that his friend had taken yet another handful of pills and was losing it again. It wouldn't be too far-fetched. When he came in and found Alex sitting on Billie Joe's couch, a suitcase at her feet, the questions and concerns overcame any relief or excitement he might have had seeing her again. This girl disappeared for a whole year without so much as a phone call. For all he knew, she had dropped off the map. Then, she somehow showed up at their doorstep without any prior knowledge of their addresses or the fact that they had moved in the first place? The more she explained as to how she got there in the first place, the more confused both the men were.

Alex sighed, repeating, "I had some business to take care of, where I borrowed some money and I had to repay it. When I did, the first thing I decided to do was come home. And this is my home."

"So why weren't you answering any of our calls?" Mike questioned. "We could've helped you repay the debt."

"This was something I had to do alone. You know, I've got a little bit too much...pride," she shrugged.

"Still doesn't answer why you couldn't answer a phone," he urged.

"I didn't have time! I had to work my ass off all year, so excuse me if I didn't have as much leisure time as you seemed to," she shot back.

"Hey, don't blame this on me!" Mike raised his hands in defense. "You're the one who disappeared without a trace."

"I was doing what I had to."

"And what was that? Abandoning your family and friends?"

"It wasn't like that."

"Well it sure looks like it."

"Why'd you always pick a fight with someone because they didn't bend to your every will? I didn't come here to be lectured. I'm a grown woman!"

"Why did you come here then?"

Alex hesitated. Why, after all this time, had she come? She knew they'd have questions, unexpressed feelings, and opinions about her that she wasn't ready to face. It wasn't just because he got her the tickets either. With all the extra money he'd given her, she could've bought herself a ticket to anywhere in the world. So, why there?

Billie Joe's fingers slipped between hers. Her eyes flickered from Mike's accusing glare to Billie Joe's gentle touch. The two mediums perplexed her even more. Together, they trapped her between opposing needs. The need to reconcile and the need for understanding should have gone hand-in-hand, but what when one would destroy the other? Coming there to find some sort of healing from the people who had become strangers, mere shadows of the friends she once knew, wasn't a good enough excuse, and she didn't believe it either. On the flight there, her mind was overfilling with perfect stories that could explain everything but tell nothing. Excuses that could pass as truth. It had seemed easy before, but now, looking them in the eyes, she couldn't stomach even the idea of lying.

Before she could open her mouth to answer, Billie Joe spoke up, "Because, like she said." He paused to smile at her. "This is home."

His linking fingers tightened their grip on hers and he shot her a look that was all love, just the right hint of softness, a crease at the corners of his eyes. Mike huffed, his stare still sharp as a dagger. She wasn't sure which one was more threatening. She bit her lip, eyes everywhere but on either of them. Then, Billie Joe moved closer, with those washed-green eyes that seemed like they could see right through her.

"Look, we've all had a rough night, okay? Let's get some rest, then maybe we could talk about all this tomorrow," he suggested, glancing up at Mike. "Maybe if we could all just calm down, clear our heads, we can come to an understanding."

There was a beat of anticipating silence. Alex tightened her jaw, waiting for Mike to blow up once again. Instead, he sighed.

"Fine," he said at first. Then dropped his arms, his muscles relaxing as he sighed again, "Yeah alright. Okay. I'll go, but first thing in the morning, you'd better have some kind of explanation that's at least a little believable. Do you understand?"

Alex nodded, her tongue too tied to respond. Her cousin turned his back on her to leave, but hesitated. Billie Joe, finally letting go of her hand, stood to escort his friend out. He understood the confusion, the hurt, the betrayal that Mike was feeling. It had haunted him for months and continued to cause his chest to ache from time to time. However, none of that mattered anymore. Alex had returned. Yes, she owed him more than just an explanation, but that wasn't what he'd wanted at that moment. He wished Mike a goodnight before turning to head back to the living room to where she still sat, staring at her palms.

When she looked up at him, she wore a face like she was expecting anger from him, anger that just didn't exist. All he had for her was love, and the only need he had was for her. She knew that but refused to accept it. The guilt of what she had done, everything she did to survive, weighed on her. So, when he wrapped his arms around her, her body tensed as a fight-or-flight sensation took over her nerves.

"Hey," he whispered gently. "it's just me. It's just me."

She responded with a choked silence, like a child holding back a frightened scream.

"I'm so happy you're home, sweetheart. Really." He rubbed small circles on the back of her hand. Alex nodded softly, brushing her disheveled hair to the back of her ear. His grin faltered to a concerned frown as he stood, extending his hand out to her. "Come. We've both been through a lot tonight. I think some sleep will do us some good. Yes?"

Alex stared at his hand. One that she would have taken without hesitation a year ago. Now...she wasn't sure why she allowed herself the opportunity of having it offered to her anymore. He was right though. There was no use in her moping about it that night. She slipped her hand into his and allowed him to sweep her back to his bed, where she drifted to sleep almost immediately under the blanket of his embrace.