FTM: A Tricky Life

Life Updatessssssssssssss

Helloooooo.
*uploads picture that makes me feel least dysphoric*

So, I got into the musical! AND my part is Vald the Eagle!! That's a male character and I'm so excited because of that!

On the downside of things... I've bruised myself as a form of self harm ;-;. I guess that part's not going so well. Anyways I did that after I realized I wasn't strong enough to cut. I feel weak. Ugh.

I feel like the only thing keeping me going is Mr. Kahn. He doesn't know it but he's what gets me through each week. I wish he knew. I really wish he did. How can someone I hardly know sort of become my lifeline? I really don't know but I feel like I have a brotherly connection with him.

I basically spent my weekend laying in the dark in my bed. Why must you do this to me. Why sadness? I was always so happy. Always had a huge smile plastered on my face. Why am I always so sad now? Oh yeah. This little thing called dysphoria.

I might as well have bullet points  instead of paragraphs.

I washed my binder for the first time and didn't ruin it if that counts for anything.

I'm just really looking forwards to seeing Mr. Kahn tomorrow. I love how I can be so normal and not dysphoric around him. I can laugh and play games without a care in the world. He's so important to me.

Listen to me.
You're important
You're loved
I love you
Please believe me
I'm right here if you need any support <3.
-Sven