Problems (EDITING)

#31. Epiloge

I'm finishing this book tonight.. I don't care. Sorry guis, I don't want it to end either.

Get a box of tissues. You may need them.

I know I did...

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It's been two years since Prom. We graduated together, and we finally lost our virginity to each other two weeks after. She got into the college of her dreams. i went to college in New York, so that I could be close to her.

I didn't know when it started happening. When she started to become depressed again. I never noticed it, although I should have. She cut her hair short first, donating it all. Then it was her social life. She stopped going out. Stopped hanging out after class with her friends. Finally, she just pulled away. By that time, I had noticed.

I don't know what caused her depression to spring back up. But it did. And by the time I noticed, it was too late. I couldn't help her. She would stay in for hours, laying on the couch, watching The Big Bang Theory reruns, or Face Off.

I tried talking to her. She was never interested in her classes, skipped school so much, that she would have never passed any of the classes. I tried getting her to talk to a therapist when she wouldn't talk to me. She didn't talk to her either.

And then, a couple weeks ago, I found her in the bathtub, her wrists sliced open.

I called the ambulance right away, but it was too late.

The worst thing was having to tell her parents. They screamed at me, told me to go away. Her dad had just retired from the Army, hoping to see his little girl.

Then they broke down, called me the next day, and told me to come over. We all sat there and cried for her. For us. Just for the fact that she was gone. For all the people that would never know her.

Then we remembered all the good times with her, and we laughed, telling stories of how much she had been goof. And then came the waterworks again.

And now, the three of us are clutching each other, crying, as Alma is lowered into the ground.

~~~~~~One hour later~~~~~~

"Hello, you're Ruben, right?" Asks a girl, about nine asks me.

"Yes. Who are you?" I ask, wondering why she's here, at Alma's funeral.

"I'm the girl that Alma used to babysit." She says, sniffling. "My name's Emily McCall." She sticks out her hand. I grasp it. "You know Ruben, Alma used to talk about you to me all the time. I can see why now." I almost start crying again. "She really loved you. I don't know why she chose to die, Ruben, but I know it's not because of you." She hugs me around my waist, and I hug her back. A boy walks up and taps her on the shoulder, a sad look in his eyes.

"Emily. I'm sorry I couldn't be here earlier." He says. She lets go of me, throwing herself into the boy's arms.
"It's okay Karan, I'm just glad you came. I can't do this on my own. I loved her Karan." He nods, wrapping his arms around her.

"I'm sorry."

"anyways," she says, pulling away embarrassed. I chuckle softly. "Karan, this is Ruben, Ruben, Karan." She says, introducing us. We talk a little more about Alma, mostly just Emily and I though, because Karan had only met her once. Her mom then walks up and tells them that they have to go, and I can see her trying not to cry too. I nod too her, and she nods back. "Mama, this is Ruben." Emily says.

"She talked about you all the time, Ruben." She said, smiling. I nod, fighting back the tears that threaten to spill over.

~~Four years later~~

I finally pack up my small New York apartment, having received my college diploma. I look around my room, checking to see if there was anything that I had missed. I see one single picture left on the dresser that I had not seen before. I walk over, picking it up and looking at it. It was a picture of Alma and I, both holding out acceptance letters. Hers from Cornell, mine NYU. We were both in our caps and gowns that day, me picking her up and spinning her. That day was pure joy. My mom had snapped the picture. I sit down on the floor, and cry one more time.

I remember that day. We both received the letters in the mail. She called me, telling me that her letter had come. She had been too scared to open it. I told her to come over, because I had received mine also. She came over, both of us were already dressed for the graduation ceremony. We opened them at the same time. We had both gotten accepted. I picked her up, spinning her, both of our letters in our hands. Mom had snapped the picture at just the right time. She was laughing, her face filled with joy. I kissed her then, and she kissed me back.

We then graduated, side by side. Moved in together in New York. Then it went bad. But that moment. Right then, I believed nothing could tear us apart.

I wiped my eyes, picked up my last few bags, and packed them into my car. That day still playing in my mind. I stuck the picture in my wallet.

And I moved on.

I left her behind in New York, where our life together began and ended. And where her life had ended, leaving me with only memories and pictures, mementos and letters.

And I moved on to my new life, without the love of my life. For life, is just a game. And not all of us can win at it. She lost, but I'm still moving forward. Space by space. Rolling along in my little green car, only knowing what the  game could give me. But not knowing what it would give me. And that, is why I was scared. I didn't want to lose the game. But if I did, I would lose knowing that I tried to win the game. And that I had made it as far as I could without her. And that the game, had not truly begun at this moment. Because it started when we were born. Unlike the board says, life doesn't begin after high School. It begins with your life. So play it right.

GUIS, I'M SO SORRY! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! THIS IS THE END. NO JOKES. I WAS BAWLING AS I WROTE THIS, BUT I'VE BEEN PLANNING TO KILL ALMA FOR A WHILE.

I did it for a reason, okay? Just hear me out. I did it to prove that there aren't always going to be happy endings. (So much for our happy ending...) But seriously guis, the game of Life lies to us. Life start when we are born, and from then on out, everything we do is just part of a game. One misstep, ant everything could be ruined. So be careful out there guis. play the game right. For those around you. Don't let the depression win. I know it's hard, but you have gots to do it.

Don't kill me though. the #Alben ship will forever sail on in our hearts. I love you. This isn't the last of me though. There are other books im writing, check them out if you want. but this book is over.

Goodbye for now guis.

And be careful.